Christmas recap

I had my family Christmas thing at my house this year. It was very nice and went off without a hitch, no drama or anything. It was great. I love playing host mostly so I do not have to lug my gifts to and from home. I simply help others carry their gifts in when they arrive.

I had the house decorated really festive and had tons of great food. I started off with lots of simple appetizers like cheese and crackers, a veg tray with dip, and other assorted finger foods. My sister's b-day is Christmas Eve so she always chooses what we have for dinner. It's always fried chicken...she loves my grandma's fried chicken so I did not have to cook. I sat on the couch and watched tv and chatted up my sister ( the super model looking nurse. ) I played with the kids and had a nice time. We didnt open gifts until late in the afternoon but I was excited to watch the kids open all the presents they received. I manned down the video camera this year too. I must have been a pretty good boy bcs I did get spoiled. Again. I usually just get gift cards and cash bcs I am kind-of hard to buy for. I like to pick out my own clothes and do not usually like anything for my house that someone else picks out (sorry but I have my own taste!!)
This year was no exception, I got some gift cards, cologne, a nose hair trimmer ( gross, I know but it MUST be done) some bath and body works stuff, and my mom did get me a sweater just like the one I picked out from her for my b-day just a different color. I was really proud of her for getting me an article of clothing that I liked and that fits me correctly. All in all I would say my family Christmas this year was lovely. Of course no one makes out like grams, she is the oldest and everyone always get her really nice gifts. I got her a standing lamp that has an additional reading lamp that she can adjust for adequate lighting for reading when she's in bed. She reads for at least an hour each night before she goes to sleep. It's kinda weird how well I know her and her habits...but we have lived together for over 15 years. She is the one constant figure in my life and cant imagine who or how I would be today if it was not for her and love and support. I love her more than she will ever know. Ok, I kind-of got off the subject for a second but I do love my grams. I always tease Daniel (my super model nurse sister's nine year old son, my nephew) that she's my grandma and he always gets a little upset bcs they are really close too. It's weird how she works her spell on generation after generation. We are all very lucky to have someone like her in our lives....


Ok, I need to go, I am at work after all and need to do some work. I hope all of you had as nice a Christmas as I did and wish you all a happy, safe, and prosperouse New Year.

Much love, Justin

Workplace idiots

Ok, I love my job but sometimes it can be overwhelming. Since Rebecca quit and they dumped all of her accounts on me, it has been quite different. I love my new sales reps but damn they are difficult. Especially the one who is the "#1" sales rep in the company. He is such a diva!
Ok, here's the real reason for my post...it's Gloria. AGAIN! See earlier post concerning her. She is such a stupid bitch that I am sick of going behind her and fixing her mistakes. :(
UGH! Today I have had to edit/change all of the tickets she turned in. In my opinion if she cant turn in a complete and accurate ticket she should not get the commission for the project. If I am the one who has to do all the work, then I should!!!!

Ok, I do not want this to be an all hateful post....

In other news, one of my at-work boyfriends, Chris who we all call Tina, is getting a divorce from his wife. It's kind-of sad but he seems to be taking it really well. Even though she is pregnant again. WOW! Pregnant and getting a divorce??? Sad, really.

My other at-work boyfriend, Jeff his wife is in love with me. She wants to be my new best friend...which is ok with me. She is very nice but I just hope that my being friends with her will not affect my work place romance with Jeff. He is the nicest guy here and I love to visit with him...it's totally non-sexual!

Gotta jet for now, Much Love Everybody!!!

Another post...

In recent weeks my dating life has been so much different than ever before. After the George fiasco, I kind of stayed away from dating. I have been exchanging emails with a man from Russia, who is very nice but so young and naive. He is so different than I am. Of course, that's mostly because he lives in Russia where it's not really acceptable to be gay. I can only imagine what his life must really be like. I kinda feel sorry for him. I also have been talking to this cowboy from McAlister who is practically ready to get married...despite the fact that we have yet to meet in person. Weird, no? He is nice, aggressive, and pushy all in one. I have not completely discounted him yet though.

Christmas is almost here and I have yet to begin my shopping. Since we have so many kids in my family the adults drew names. I got Heather, my lesbian step sister. I have no idea what to get her! It's supposed to be "secretive" so I cant really ask for suggestions either. Hmm....what should I get her that she will like? So far I have come up with a gift card from Bath & Body works bcs I know how much she likes their products. That seems like taking the easy way out though so I will just have to keep brainstorming. lol...

Sometimes kids can be so funny. Today while I was home for lunch Kiah, my four year old niece was showing me her new pink Converse high top tennis shoes. I asked her where she got them and she replied from her mom. But then followed that up with "we didnt pay for them though!" and busted out laughing as she said told me she was just kidding. I thought it was hilarious too. That girl just kills me...both my sister's kids have had excellent speaking skills that came to them at a very young age. I think it's bcs we talk to them like they are adults. I can rememer when Daniel, who is now nine, was three and I was asking him about something and he asked me what his options were. I was like youre three what do you know about options!! Just another hilarious moment with my sister's hilarious kids...I cant imagine who are lives would be without them...

Much love and Happiest of Holidays to everybody!
Justin the former juglover.

Friends till the END

After two months Mackie and I have finally talked and made up. It's kinda nice that a ten minute phone call can change things so drastically. We are now friends again....
I have been meaning to call him but didnt just because things have been so strained in my life that I didnt want any more drama. As it turns out he has been waiting ( and wanting ) me to call him. I did miss him and have thought about him a lot. I have already lost a good friend and didnt want to lose another one. It's hard enough to make friends so I feel I should do what I can to retain the ones I already have. Besides that, we have been friends for eleven years now...making him the longest friendship I have ever had. I love him and I am glad things are back on track.


In other news...there is no other news. My life is quite simple these days. With the exception of oversleeping this am. I woke when my alarm went off and the next thing I know grams is waking me up and telling me it's 9am. Shit! Late again and I hate to be late. Oh well, at least I have an understanding boss and people in my dept who wont hold a simple mistake against me. I am very thankful for both of those things.

Until later my peeps!

So fucking over it

I am in a very pissy mood today....

I fell this moring on my icy driveway and now my back is absolutely killing me. That is only part of the problem though. Everything is pissing me off these days. For real, everything. I normally do not have such a short fuse so I do not know what my problem is.

Work is insane. Rebecca quit and my bosses gave me all of her accounts. Exciting, right? Hell no. I didnt want them. My work has doubled in the last week. Not that I mind, but damn....See, I told you guys I was cranky. I have had to really force myself to be nice the last couple of weeks. At work and at home. Maybe I should try to stay drunk all the time bcs I am a really happy drunk. Kidding, kidding. It would be impossible to stay drunk all the time.

Nothing new or exciting to report. I had a threesome a couple of days ago and then woke up the next day with a fever blister (cold sore, whatever you want to call it.) So, I was less than happy about that one. The threesome itself was ok, both guys were attractive ( one more than the other of course. ) The sex was pretty good too but the less attractive guy was way too into me. Not literally but he did try. I did find myself into both of them...literally but at different times. In fact me and one of the dudes double penetrated the other guy. He loved it and was yelling "harder, harder!" Everything I said to him, he responded "yes, sir." The whole experience was a bit weird but hey, a threeway is still a threeway no matter how weird.

That's it everybody, I am cranky and do not feel like typing anymore.

I will attempt to do a more light hearted post very soon.
Much love, Justin with cold sore. :( so gross.....

Ready for Thanksgiving

I have had food poisoning for the last three days but now I am back to normal just in time for Thanksgiving...which is my favorite holiday. I know what you're thinking, why not Christmas? I do love Christmas but Thanksgiving is all about family and food. Two of my fave things. I love being with all of my family and all of us eating together around my mom's huge dining room table. For real, it seats like sixteen of us and there's always a kid's table next to it too. This year I am making the pies. A pumpkin, pecan, and a pumpkin cheesecake. My mom is making fudge so she told me three pies would be plenty. Also, her mother in law is bringing two chocolate pies. I am getting hungry while typing this! :0)

In other news: I am currently single and not hating it. ; )
I have not been on any dates or anything in a couple of weeks but I am optimistic about finding someone to share my time with...not just my bed. Of course he will be invited into it but prolly not on the first date. Who am I kidding, it prolly will be! I will keep you posted bcs I do have a couple of prospects lined up. I could not go out anywhere this past weekend bcs of the food poisoning. But this next one...it's on.

I need to post something here about my grandmother. She is truly the most amazing woman. She has been supportive thru out my entire life. I just dont know who I would be today if it hadnt been for her being there for me. I have shared a house with her for the last 15 years and I only hope we can live together for another 15. She is my best friend and I only hope she knows how much she means to me. ( She does not read this, I just needed to get that out. ) She has stood beside me even when I didnt deserve it. I have been very fortunate to have someone like her in my life and always looking out for me, taking care of me, and giving a kick in the ass when it was needed to. I hope each of you out there has someone like my grams in your life. If you do, make sure they know what they mean to you.

That's it folks, enjoy your Thankgiving, appreciate your families and loved ones, and be HAPPY. It will make a difference in your daily life if you change your attitudes and strive for happiness. Seriously, happiness is everything to me. Well, that and eating the entire pumpkin cheesecake tomorrow! ;)

Here I am

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. I have been in the worst possible mood for over a week now. I am not exactly sure why either. I have been getting plenty of sleep and eating right but I still feel tired and very run-down. Or maybe I am just unmotivated. ???

I have broken off all contact with George but that's not what my problem is. Hell, maybe it is...
I just know that I have been having to force myself to be pleasant and polite. Which is usually not the case with me. I dont want to do anything or go anywhere. I have been even slacking off on my appearance, which is really uncharacteristic of me. I am so vain, and for me to not care what I look like, something's up. Now, if I could just figure out what it is. I will think about it and do some soul searching and let you guys know what I figure out.

Maybe I am lonely ( still, this is not about George ) but like lonely for some friends. I do not really have any. Or at least not any close friends that I hang out with regularly. Macki and I still have not talked since I came home over a month ago. Weird, right? But, I dont think he's the reason behind all this either. Part of it, maybe...but not the real reason. I am not only lonely but also depressed and miserable. Perhaps, I should seek counseling but find it uncomfortable to talk to someone who is a stranger. I dont care if they are doctors or not, a stranger is a stranger. I cant really talk to my parents about this either. They have enough to deal with without me trying to dump my "problems" on them. They always seem so insignificant when I talk to them about something anyway. I know, it all seems insignificant as I am typing but I cant help the way I feel.

I will do another post when I have figured out my problem or talked to someone and they shed some light on the situation.

Justin the miserable.

What the hell?

I talked with George last Friday night. I told him exactly how I felt and how shitty I thought everything that had happened was. He apologized and we talked for a bit. Then he called Sat and we talked more...then on Sunday I called him and he was busy cleaning up as his roomated family was coming over. He didnt call back that day so I called him Monday. I left him a message and he has yet to call me back ( today is Wednesday by the way.) At this point I am wondering what the hell is his problem? Why would he bother to make up with me if he was going to just blow me off again? I have really had it this time...really. I will try my best to be friends with him when I see him but as for dating, he is out of the game for good. Forever.

In other news: August and I are getting along great. When we chat, he makes me smile a lot. I just wish he lived in the same town bcs I could really see us together.

I am really missing my friends lately. Jessica is so busy at her job as am I, that we dont have time to chat anymore. Which really sucks. I miss her like crazy. Mackie and I have not talked since I left Arkansas that day. He text messaged me and we exchanged a texts back and forth but nothing was resolved, perhaps it never will be. ???

As for everything else: my job is going good, as far as I know anyway. I have really come into my own here. I hope I stay forever.

Thanksgiving is coming up soon and I have volunteered to make the pies. From scratch. I am totally ready, it has been too long since I have made a pie. I will be making a pumpkin cheesecake, a pecan pie, and then prolly buying a regular pumpkin pie. Hell, I might even make an apple pie too or maybe a chocolate one. I plan to make at least four...but have yet to really narrow it down to the final four. :-) whatever the outcome is, I am sure they will all be delicious.

Much love to all those out there planning their own Thanksgivings.

NO MORE GEORGE

So, I have reached my limits with George. I have been growing increasingly tired of his games...the games that he insists he does not play. Whatever, dude I have been in the gay dating scene long enough to recognize games when I come across them. The last straw was when he stood me up Tuesday night. I had mentioned that I wanted to go out bcs it was Halloween. He said he would go but something about it told me he would not show up. I talked to him after work and told him I was going to take a little nap. He asked me to call him when I woke up but he didnt answer when I called. That is not unusual for him though, he never answers his phone so I always end up leaving a message but sometimes refuse to. It's like every time he calls me and I cant answer ( like in the shower or something ) he doesnt answer the next time I call him, for real. It didnt take long before I started to notice this pattern. Plus, there has been this kind-of weirdness between us and the whole deal with the rule at his job is an issue too. When I asked about it he said "were still talking, arent we?" Hello, cant you just answer a question? Damn, he is always so elusive too. Cant he just once give a straight answer?
When he didnt show up Tuesday, I called him about 10:30 to ask if he was coming or on his way and of course, he didnt answer. But, he called Wednesday morning while I was at work and left a message saying that he fell asleep. No "I'm sorry" or anything. Just "I fell asleep."

So, you know what? Fuck him. I am done with him and his games...

On to something more: I did get a lot of attention from other men while at the bar Tuesday. So much that I have no worries about a man shortage in my life. If I am not going to be with George, then that leaves me free to explore other options...and explore I will. ;-)

Until next time, Justin
PS: Sorry about the gap in between posts, I have been too cranky and tired to post.

New friends and boyfriend drama

Ok, let's get to it.

I am becoming good friends with a girl from work. She is really great and our personalities mesh really good together. We have a lot in common and I just love her. We have not really spent much time together but I do feel a good connection with her...and see us hanging out in the future. I am really looking forward to getting to know her better...even though we talk a lot at work and take our breaks together, there's still room for more bonding.

Boyfriend drama is at a minumum lately...well kind-of. George and I were supposed to hang out Friday night but it didnt really happen that way. In fact, I we didnt see each other at all. Why? Well, he didnt answer my call or return my message so I went to Kansas with my grams to see my nephew who broke his elbow. Poor little guy. He is only about nine months old ( he is my half black nephew that is so cute.) I felt so bad for him seeing him with a cast that goes all the way from his shoulder and even encloses his hand. Also my niece is really sick. She has been running a high fever and throwing up. Saturday afternoon at another of my nephews b-day party ( he is three now!!) I was holding Kiah and she threw up all over me. That's ok, it's happened before and is no big deal. My sister's and brother's kids mean so much to me that I didnt even blink an eye. She started to cry and wanted her mom so I simply changed my shirt and hoped she was ok...luckily my brother and I are about the same size so I just borrowed a shirt from him.

There was more drama too that I just cant bring myself to share right now but maybe sometime in the future I will.

Well, that's it for now...I will keep y'all posted on the "George" developements as they happen. Hopefully things will work out and we can live happily ever after :-)

Another wrench in my plans

George and I are getting along great. There's just one problem: he works at my Dr's office and they told him today it's against the rules to date patients. I was like "you're not the Dr!" But I guess it really doesnt matter. At this point I really dont know what will happen. All I do know is that if we cant be together bcs of this, I will be furious and consider changing my Doctor. I am so disappointed right now I just dont know what to do....

In other news, everything else is going pretty good. No new developements to speak of.

I will blog later when I have something more to say.

Much love everybody, Justin

I am kind-of blah

I have been critized for not doing enough posts, so here goes. I really dont have much to blog about today though.

My weekend was pretty uneventful. I went out to dinner on Friday but wished I had stayed home. It was quite awful. The food sucked and my date sucked even more. That will be the last time I let a friend set me up with "someone who is perfect for me." The perfect guy for me is not interested or if he is...he has a weird way of showing it. I am just about ready to give up on a relationship altogether. I guess I am just destined to be a slut forever. I know, that is shitty but I gots to get my physical needs met and since I cant seem to come up with a prospect for a boyfriend, the slut road is the only way to go. Poor me, right?

Then I just stayed home Sat and Sun bcs I have been having problems with my back again. I am just about ready to give up on that too. No boyfriend and always in pain...what a great life I have. Oh, if you have not noticed, this is another one of my "blue" posts. I cant help it...I blog how I feel. I cant and dont fake anything. It's just not me. I am how I am, who I am. And that's what you get. If this is uncool to you, then perhaps you should tune in tomorrow when hopefully I will be in a better state of mind. Or at least I hope I am. This back pain is starting to break my spirit. Well, that and one of my good friends, who I considered a good friend is still shutting me out. If your intention was to hurt me, then mission accomplished. I cherish my friends and like to think that we can work thru any problems that might come up.

I'm out y'all. I will try to be more upbeat in tomorrow's post.

Justin

WTF??

Ok, so my guy in Arkansas is still emailing me. I have responded but with caution. Why would he think I am the kind of guy he can blow off and then think I will still be interested. Perhaps he really was busy or whatever but, like I said before, it would have only taken a couple of minutes to type out a sentence or two. Even a quick and simple phone call would have worked. But, nothing. The bad part? I do still like him but feel like if I let him know that then he will continue this behavior into the future...which I will not tolerate if things do progress.

What should I do? Forgive? Blow him off? Hmm....I am just not sure.

Ok, so George is back from Florida but has yet to call me. I know, he must be tired and prolly had to return to work today but still. What's with men? Or is it me? Am I too demanding? Maybe I have to high of expectations out of people.

I will keep y'all posted on the developements of it all..however it plays out.

What, an email now?

After my post yesterday my Arkansas boyfriend sent me an email. Bizarre, right? Considering he doesnt read this blog. He doesnt even know the url...so I know for fact that he does not. Anyway, he claims to have been busy, I believe his words were " It has truly been a crazy week." Whatever, dude. I dont need him and now dont even want him. I am going to say it's too little, too late. I do still think about him but would never admit it. I miss having somene special and cant really see myself settling for a someone special that lives six hours away. I would like to see him one more time, so he can get a real good idea of exactly what he missed out on. I know, that sounds conceited but I am still angry and a tad bitter about it all. Hell, why shouldnt I be? I spent the better part of the weekend hanging with him and then he is too busy to call or send me an email for over a week...I dont think so.

gotta jet for now kiddies, more later.

Will it ever end?

So now that it's cold and rainy my back is hurting again. Not the cant-stand-up with pains shooting down my legs pain but pain none the less. I am hoping that it really isnt cold or rainy weather but rather something else. I cant imagine what it could be but I only have one physical therapy session left! I hope she can work her magic on me one more time...and that it will last. I hate the thought that it could just spring up on me at any time, I mean damn who can deal with that? It sucks, let me tell you.

Ok, now on to the man drama in my life....
I have not heard anything from my guy in Arkansas in about a week now. Oh well, it's his loss as I would have only strung him along and used for my amusement as I probably could not have stayed faithful to someone who lives six hours away. That, and he spends all of his time with young 18 or 19 year olds. Hello, dude! You're 39 so make some friends that you are not old enough to be their father. I know, getting older is not fun but having young friends does not make you young, ya Fool. I did like him but I am thinking it was only a slight physical attration and those fade so quickly so things are better off this way. I am sure Mackie had something to do with him not wanting to keep in tough with me. Oh well, if I find out that this is true, I will take action with some revenge...you all know that if you get on my bad side there will be reprecussions. I cant say what they will be but somehow I will come up with something.

As for George, I dont think things will ever be smooth between us. He is so inaccurate in reading me and my statements, moods, facial expressions, the whole bit. Then he is weird about so many things too. And so damn moody. I could really fall for him but I dont think I will let myself.

August? Well, things are nice with us right now. Of course we pretty much only email and then talk on the phone when I call him. He is the only person who is not in my family that got me a b-day present, which is sweet considering I have a lot of fam members who didnt get me a gift. I know, I know it's not about the gifts but his means a lot to me. Very touching. Now, if only we could get together in person and see if there is something there or not...besides the physical.

Glen? is now out of the picture. He has lied and pissed me off more than he should have. Revenge on him too. Only because he owes me money and refuses to pay me back. Hell, he wont even answer his phone or his door when I stopped by the other day. He will get his, if I dont get mine.

That's it but stay tuned for even more drama to come...

My Bad Day is here

This post will mostly just be a rant...

I woke up way late this am. While in the shower I had a coughing fit that was so bad, I ended up vomiting in the shower. So freakin gross. Of course I exited the shower quickly and went to another shower in the house. I will have to clean my shower after work. So, I get to work about 40 minutes late and my boss is all kinds of pissed off. He went off about how he relies on me and how I have cost us three hours of production time with my tardiness. Nevermind that I have a fever and still trying to get over this bad-ass cold that is so extreme with coughing fits that leave me breathless or even worse: cause me to vomit. Now that' s bad. I hope it goes away soon. I am ready to get back to my healthy vibrant self.

Ok, so what's the fucking deal with guys who play games. I have had it with these types. I, myself do not play games. I am very straight forward and expect the same. Of course, it doesnt always happen that way but I can hope, cant I? My newest dude that lives in Ar has become very distant and non-existent. I wonder what the hell his problem is? He was all about me four days ago but now, it's like he has fallen off the face of the earth. Oh well, he wasnt exactly for me anyway....most of you know that I have a very bad habit of trying to make something work that clearly will not. I guess I am so desperate for a boyfriend that I go to extreme measures trying to make it happen. Stupid me. When will I learn? Probably never but at least I am starting to recognize my down-falls. Perhaps someday I will find it within myself to realize that love will come to me and not to try to force a romance with someone who just wants me for sex...which is most often the case. Damn me for having such awesome skills. For real, I must say that I have had lots of practice in that dept and have become a great lay. I can usually tell instantly what it will take to make my partner hot for me, and provide them with a hot encounter. I should probably dial it down just a bit so they will want more than just the sex. When will I ever learn????

Ok, sorry for the pity-party-like post. Sometimes you just need to get it out. Thanks for reading and please stay tuned for more upbeat posts.

The trip was a blast

Ok, so even though I was sick, I still went on my trip. I am glad I did too. The drive was nice and calm...I enjoy car trips as long as it's just me and maybe one other person with some good music to listen to.

Mackie and I had a good time with each other. Well, at least we did until Sunday morning...more on that later. He was pretty nice about me having a cold but still insisted on dragging me all over the place Saturday afternoon when I just wanted to rest after my drive. I need to re-charge so I would have plenty of energy for the clubs. Of course once I showered and started to get ready my energy charged itself. I ended up looking pretty good, good enough that Mackie's cousin ( who is fuckin hot, hot, hot ) was interested in me. Needless to say, I am interested in him too. We spent the majority of the night hanging out with each other and flirting, holding hands, and making out a little too. Unfortunately I had way too many shots and ended up passing out in the car and didnt wake up until Sunday morning. Well, Mackie woke me up and insisted that we leavve immediately. Which did not sit well with me. I was tired, hung over, and felt just awful because I really should have not been out drinking while I was ill. Oh well, you only live once and you only get a chance to celebrate your 30th b-day out of town once!

Mackie's cousin is just the kind of guy I like. He is attractive (very!) smart, likes to laugh and have a good time, he dresses really nice, has lots of friends who adore him, and he seems to really like me...or at least I hope he likes me as much as I like him.

Mackie and I ended up having a huge argument Sunday morning and it will probably be a long, long time before we speak again. If ever. We have had big fights like this before but it feels different this time. I have forgiven him many times for different things and this time I am the one who needs to be forgiven. We'll just have to wait and see how things turn out....

Anyway, I made it home safe and sound. And with a new crush.

Much love, Justin

Finally leaving

The day has finally arrived! I will be leaving this afternoon for my trip. I have had a serious cold all week long but nothing can stop me from going. I will take it easy and continue to take my antibiotics and such. Which means no parties or anything but that's ok, partying isnt always that great any damn way. I am just looking forward to seeing my friends and getting away from home for a couple of days. It's been quite a while since I have taken any trips ( at least since last New Year's Eve ) and I didnt even leave the state-I just went to OKC. I did have a good time then and met a real cool guy, who I still chat with.

I will post another post when I return and fill all you guys in on my not-so-slutty adventures!

JH

My big trip is finally here

First, I want to start out with saying how much I hate it that I wasted my b-day post bitching about other people who are completely insignificant. With that said, let's move on to something worthwhile. :-)

My trip to Arkansas has finally arrived. I dont leave for a couple more days, but I am already feeling it. It has been forever since I have taken any sort of trip anywhere. I know Ar does not sound that exciting but for me, it will be. I used to live in Ft Smith, so I have lots of friends down there ( more potential readers!) Of course I will be staying with Mackie and we will be hitting the clubs all the way from Ft Smith to Fayetteville and Little Rock. I am really looking forward to this trip, and nothing can stop me now!

Look forward to some slutty posts after I return...

Hypocrites and idiots

Let me tell you how much I hate it when someone puts me down to others for something and then turns around and does the very same thing. Fuck them, to death. The nerve of them...I have decided that I am not taking anymore shit from anyone. I will come out swinging, so dont start something that you are not prepared to finish. Everyone who knows me knows that I am about the nicest guy, until you fuck with me. Then it's not pretty. That's all I will say and now to move past this unpleasantness.

So, Happy Birthday to me. I am now 30 and do not mind it at all. I feel it's a milestone and I am happy to have made it this far.

What the hell

Did you ever have one of those days where you should have just stayed home? That day was/is today for me...

Tons of drama, problems, and plain old shit at work today. We're talking all kinds of stupid, weirdo stuff here. It was one of the worst ever. I sometimes wonder why I stay. I suppose I am glutton for the punishment. Or perhaps I keep hoping things will get better...and they do but only for a short time. My job is one of those bizarre ones that a good day is really good, and then a bad day is a really fucking awful mess of a bad day. I worry about the character of a lot of the people who I work with...for real. They certainly scare me but not in the literal sense that I fear them. I can more than take care of myself, if it came down to it. Never lost a fight or been beat up except for my first boyfriend and he rushed me and knocked me down from behind. Hello, unexpected. Anyways, I dont think it would ever come to that here but I am just saying....


My b-day weekend plans are ruined. My guest isnt coming and my b=day party with my family is the only one I will have this year...what a way to turn thirty. I hate my b-day, I have never had a good one that I can recall. Something happens every year to mar the day. I think I might end up changing the date or just forgetting about it completely. Listen to me, going on and on with my sympathy for myself. How pathetic.

I am going to wrap this up, as it is my most blue post yet. I hope a day like this never happens again. But if it does I will be ready and not take the poor me approach....I will come out swinging. And that's a promise, bitches.

Gotta jet....

Anniversary

Today is my one year anniversary at my job!! Hell yeah, baby! I made it thru the first year. I have made some friends, a few almost enemies, and had lots of ups and downs. Lots of laughter too. Even with all the drama and day-to-day madness this really is one of the most fun, and better jobs I have ever had. It might not pay that much but there are other perks that make up for it. Like free health insurance ( with my back issues, it really helped, ) quarterly bonuses that can be pretty nice, and I live like 7 minutes away too. My boss is gay and that has been a plus too. I think he kinda paved the way for homos here. I have never had any problems at all. No comments, nothing. Which means a great deal to me because I have had some really shitty jobs before...never again though. I intend to stay at this one until they force me to leave.

I hope all you guys are as lucky as I am to have found a job that allows you to be yourself, no matter who or what you are. :-)

Good and Bad, all in one

I have had one of the weirdest weekends ever. First of all, I am now involved in another three way relationship. Yes, another. I know, I know I should have learned from the last one that ended in tragedy-not me, for the other two suckers who both fell for me and then tried to out-do each other to win me over. Hell, three way relationships sound like the way to go, right? Two instead of one trying to please! Oh, yeah. So, anyway...the date thing was ok, ended up being going home a littl early because I was so tired. Thursday night wore me out, but not like that.

Then on to grandpa's for Sat and Sun to take care of the race horses and dogs while he was in Branson. I hate his dogs, they are annoying and have no sense of right or wrong. The newest one likes to sleep under the pillow that you ( me ) are sleeping on. I had to wake up every 30 or 45 mins and move the stupid bastard out from underneath my head. Ugh!
But I did have a nice time being around the horses. I let my adventurous side get the best of me and rode one of them. Which was a huge mistake. First of all, if you have never been around race horses, they are not like other horses at all. Their temperment is not nearly as nice and they are very unruly. Which is not at all their fault, it's the nature of their lives. Unless you are a skilled, I mean skilled rider you should not even attempt to get on a race horse. Providing you find yourself in the company of one that will even let you put a regular saddle on it. TimeDancer usually is a pretty good sport about it...until I got on. Then she was all kinds of crazy. I had to rein the shit out her just to slow her down from a full-on run thru the pasture that has holes and such. That would have been all I needed-my grandpa to come home to her having a broken leg. He would have shit. But she finally relented and realized as long as I was aboard I was boss. Then we had a nice ride with the others following along. They were probably wondering what it's like to have a rider that doesnt expect you to run full speed the entire time and one that doesnt have a wip in his hands too. Poor babies, but then again that is the nature of their life. It's not pretty. Then my back pain kicked in. I had high hopes that it could withstand a little horseback riding but I guess my recovery is not as progressed as I thought. So, now I am all on the pills again and going back to pt Wed for hopefully my last session.

Well, that's it...for all of you who were wondering what I did with myself all weekend long and wasnt answering any phone calls. Much love to all my friends.

Almost 30!

My 30th b-day is quickly approaching. A lot of people are like 'oh, sorry.' But, I am not. I am looking forward to it, like it's an accomplishment. For those of you who really know me and my past, you all understand why. I wont even mind having to say I'm thirty either. Not exactly looking forward to that part, but it's ok. I will be having a bash to commemorate the occassion with my family that should be a blast. It will be just a small part of my week long celebration.
The festivities will start off with a visit from my guy in OKC, that I blogged about a while back, he will here for the weekend before my b-day. Then the family party, then a dinner out with friends, then going to Arkansas for the weekend to see Mackie, who will start to be younger than I am this year. I dont see any reason to lie about my age and he does. It's a tragedy, really. Why would someone feel like lying about your age is so important? It's ridiculous!! So petty and dumb. I feel like if someone will lie about something as unimportant as their age, what else will they lie about? Probably anything is my guess...

Back issue update: still going to physical therapy but really getting better.
I have drastically reduced the amount of pills I take each day. I used to take between 10 to 12 a day through out the day but now I only take them as needed. Sometimes I take 2 or 3, sometimes I go almost all day without needing one. I think it depends on the amount of activity I do or how much walking I do at work. All I know is that I am more than freakin ready to resume my whore-like lifestyle! Ok, so not whore-like but I am missing the dating scene. Also missing all my "see-them-once-a-month-boyfriends" but they have all agreed that I am worth waiting for and they are all anticipating when they will get to "see" me again. :)

much love everybody!

Almost back to normal

Physical therapy has worked for me. I was very hesitant to do it but now I am glad I did. I am religiously doing my stretches and exercises everyday, sometimes at work. I go do them on the conference room table so I dont have to do them on the floor. I have almost reached the end, only three more sessions left, including today. They have been totally worth the money.

Also, I finally broke it off with Tony. He took it ok, I am not exactly sure because I did it over the phone. I know, I know you guys are thinking that was cruel but it really was the only way. I had to because I first of all wanted to avoid an emotional scene. He acted like it was ok with him at first but quickly changed his tune. As soon as I heard his voice crack I had to hang up. He then proceeded to call me for the next three days wanting his movies back. I am thinking he is alright with it now-at least now he doesnt have to get a job, which was a stipulation for dating me. Well, it still is just not for him. Perhaps the next guy I am with will not be such a fixer upper! I would love to meet someone that has his act together, or at least partially. Oh well, at least I am not emotionally unavailable after all of it.

I will keep y'all posted on my up coming romantic adventures...which are going to be back in full swing before you can say " magnum sized condoms!"

Peace and Love, Justin

What the hell?

Why is it that people, who you thought were your friends, suddenly are not? Why is it that friendships come with stipulations? That you didnt even know were there.

Maybe I am too trusting or have too much faith in someone... that I am completely shocked when I realize they were like this all along. I am a caring person who tries to look for some "good" in everyone.

I just dont get it when someone turns on you for what seems like a completely insignificant situation that you didnt think was worthy of such a strong reaction...

This prolly doesnt make sense to most of you, but it will to someone.

Perhaps the fault is mine in believing in someone to have understanding that clearly isnt there.
Who knows, but in the future I will be sure to avoid making such a bad call in judgement.

I am still doing so much better with the back situation. I would say by the time my 30th b-day comes around I will be almost back to "normal."

much love to those of you who are the geniune, caring, and sincere people I believe you to be. :)

SO MUCH BETTER

Physical therapy, as it turns out has really helped. I mean tremendously. I was skeptical in the beginning but it has given me more relief than any of the $500,000 worth of prescribed narcotics I take each day. My therapist, Beth, has me do some stretches, exercises, and then she does a really cold spray stuff and stretches each of my back muscles using her hands and having me move into different positions. Wow, if only I had known about this weeks ago! Or even months...damn all that wasted time being in pain. And wasted money getting shots from the specialist and then the missed days at work recooping from the shots. I have only had three sessions with Beth so far and anticipate being "cured" by the eighth and final session. PT is so worth the insurance co-pay of $30. Hell, I would pay $50 knowing how well it's working for me. I do not like doing the stretches or exercises at home but I am going to start doing them more frequently now. I just dont feel like I am doing them correctly or perhaps it's bcs I am down on the floor doing them??? Not sure...all I know is that I am going to start making myself do them in the evenings at least.

Stay tuned for a post later that IS NOT back related!!!! Oh my gosh, I know...it's been so long since I have any thing else on my mind or in my life for that matter.

Results, finally

I went in today to hear the results of my mri...I have what's called trigger points. They are like balls of fire within a muscle. I have one on each side of my spine. They are so swollen and inflamed that they are caused my lower lumber discs #L1 and L2 to bulge. So freakin' painful that I hate to even move at this point. I am pushing forward though, I really have no other choice. I must work to maintain my job as my health insurance is thru my job. I would want to keep my job even if my insurance wasn't thru it. I am now going to physical therapy that my co-pay is $30 per session and I will end up doing either eight or nine sessions. I will have to morgage my house to pay all these medical bills and then log in extra hours on the topless dancing runway to pay my mortgage. :) I just hope my back gets better so I can resume my pole dancing side career. lol....

On another note: I am still with my worthless boyfriend who I have not seen in person in 5 weeks. He is so history as soon as I see him. But I just dont know when I will feel well enough to treck all the way over to his house. I am seriously considering an over the phone break up. But then I will still have to see him in person after that bcs I have a couple of his movies. That I am certain he wants back. Oh well, I will figure something out...eventually. He must suspect something is different, I mean we dont even talk everyday! Most of the time when he calls me I let it go to voice mail bcs I just cant deal with him whining about how much he misses me or how much he wants to see me. I just want to tell him " if you would drive, we wouldnt have this problem." Have I mentioned he doesnt drive? Yeah, he doesnt and doesnt plan on ever driving again. I am like whatever, I wouldnt let a couple of accidents keep me from driving. Waiting for a ride and stuff all the time would be like being in prison!! And who the hell wants that?

Well, friends, I will let y'all know how the physial therapy goes or if worse comes to worse: what hospital room to send the flowers too. :)

It's finally happening

Tonight I go in for my MRI. Then starting Wed I will go to physical therapy twice a week. I just hope it does some good for $30 a session. God knows how broke I am due to missing work and paying for expensive prescriptions. I am having a few "good days" though. But then the next day it's back to being in pain. Sucks hard core. Other than my almost constant misery, there's nothing new in my life. Still with the bf ( for now ) but still waiting for my moment to break it off in person. It's been over a month since I have seen him so I am sure he has some kind of hint that things just are not right. Or working for me.

Stay tuned for MRI results....

No excitement

Hey there, to all my loved ones out there. I unfortunately do not have anything new or exciting to post. Seriously, nothing. With my back still in the same state, I have no life at all right now. With the exception of taking my dog outside and going to work, I literally spend every minute in bed or on the sofa. Glamorous, right? I am so looking forward to getting back to my normal, non-moral having ways. :) I am pretty much single again and looking to start dating again, or at least my version of dating. I hope to have some excitement to blog about soon, as I am sure most are sick of reading my rants about my back pain/issues. I am going back to the specialist next week and will prolly go in for an MRI...for which I hope my insurance co-pay isn't a gazillion dollars. Even if it is, you know I will be getting one anyway.

Back to the bf thing: I am currently still with him, but only because lack of opportunity to break it off. He has had some dramatic events in his life as well over the last month. A death in his famuly, his dad diagnosed with cancer, and his best friend in the hospital having valve replacement surgery ( in her heart no less ) so what kind of bitch would I be to dump him while he has so much sadness already? Besides that, I am not about to drive all the way across town with my back hurting so bad just to break up with him...and it's like 104 degrees outside.
I will have my "talk" with him as soon as I am better and his life isn't so soap opera. I hate it that I have to put it off but have no other choice right now. He is in love with me so I think breaking up over the phone would be cruel and heartless. And I am neither. I will keep y'all posted on my romantic situation...stay tuned because single Justin (juglover) will have some great dating stories. For real, like two or three a week. Adventurous, right?

No relief?

I have had both rounds of shots in each side of my back, had some physical therapy with an individual, and totally taking it easy. The downside? I am still in pain. Not as bad and not as constant but pain non-the-less. I am really getting discouraged. I was expecting the shots to make everything all better. I am still at the point where I cant stand up to shower, have to sit down while shaving, and spend every minute I can laying down. Usually with an ice pack or hooked up to the electronic impulse machine. Which I had to buy. Nice, right? I am also still dead-headed from the pills too...but the pain remains. It sucks to be me, y'all. I would not wish this on anyone, as it's the worst thing I have ever gone thru. And I was pushed thru a second story window at 14 then beat up to the point where I was unrecognizable at 18. Those times were nothing compared to this. I guess I will call the Orthopedic specialist and see what he has to say about it. There will prolly be more shots to come or maybe even more drastic measures but something has got to give. I rolled off my waist high bed last Tuesday and might have caused even more damaged or jacked up something else. All I know is that it hurt like hell and scared the shit out of me too. Everyone I have told about it has laughed but if they were in my position they certainly would not have found anything funny about it. What if I am permanently jacked up? At 29...sounds like a dream come true, huh? I am constantly wearing my back brace, which is ultra sexy and trying my best to get back to some kind of normal routine but it sure is a rough road to recovery.

I have been in so much pain, all couped up in bed that I have not had any jug sightings at all. Unfortunate, I know. I need to get better and get out there and view me some lovely.

Until then, much love to all my faithful friends and readers.

Shout Out

I need to give a shout out to another pair of jugs in my office. They belong to our receptionist, who is really cute. I love her style and the jugs are lovely. And large. I bet she's at least a double D. So wear em proud and out on display, honeyl.

I am getting anxious about the shots tomorrow...hoping they aren't as painful as the last time. I am also hoping my hundred year old specialist is in a better mood. Or maybe he just seemed cranky to me. Or maybe he does not like homos. Who knows what his problem was??? His attitude sure sucked though. Maybe his viagra stopped working?? :)

Same old, Same old

Still no change in the back situation. I am eagerly awaiting my next appt with the specialist for the next round of back shots. Hurts like hell but should help in the long run. At least I hope. If not, it will be physical therapy. Which is not appealing to me at all. I am only 29 and it just seems weird that I should need physical therapy. Makes me feel old, like I am in my 50's or something. I am hoping for some relief soon so I can get my new house together. I am dying to make it look pretty. Of course all the furniture and stuff is already in place but I am talking about hanging pictures on the walls and stuff like that. My grandma has organized the kitchen and is still getting a lot of things like that together but the decorating is my thing. If not, it will end up looking like an old lady lives there...even though one does, it doesn't have to look like it! So, for now I am still dealing with the pain and dead-headed feeling and forcing myself to carry on. Wish me luck everyone, cause I sure need it.

Pain and Misery

I have been thru it y'all. After the big move I decided to go back down to the "normal" dosage of my drugs...this was a huge mistake. I woke up Tuesday morning and literally could not stand up. I was getting the shots in my back the next day so I figured I would take the day off work and be back to normal the next day after the shots. Wrong again. The specialist I got the shots from made me do all the stretches to "make it really hurt" and then gave me the shot. With a needle so large it required an anesthetic. Ouch, for real. I almost jumped off the table. So, after the shot I barely made it down to my mom's office bcs I could not drive myself home. She babied me and stopped and bought me lunch too. She is the best Mom ever, I could not have asked for a better one. I slept the remainder of that day and wake up the next day to a burning sensation all thru-out my back and down both legs. Ouch again, will I ever be pain-free? Son-of-a-bitch, I was expecting to wake up and do a back handspring. Wrong for the third time. So, I take a third day off...which I hated to do. By Friday I was back at work and hating every minute of it. I was in just as much pain as ever and being almost alienated by my co-workers...someone missing work makes it really tough on everyone else. But still, I was unable to walk or stand-it's not like I was getting my hair and nails done. Horrible, horrible day. Feeling like shizz and hating each minute of how everyone else was acting towards me. I hope things calm down soon, both for my body and my work situation. Oh, did I mention that I am now going to be completely broke from missing so much work and paying for the specialist office visits (three more rounds of shots then physical therapy too. ) Plus all these different prescriptions bcs none of them seem to do anything for me. I always thought I had a low tolerance but I guess it's higher than I thought. I have found a muscle relaxer that does provide some relief but it really jacks me up. So much that I only take one at work. Oh, I did get one of those electronic stimulation machines that has the electrodes that you can attach anywhere you need relaxation. It is portable so I will be wearing it at work too. Should be tons of fun. Well, I guess that pretty much sums up the last week for me...much pain and misery, hurt feelings, and even more fugging pain. I am extremely optimistic about the next round of shots though, they should cut the pain in half. At least that's what Dr. Sadistic said. Oh, and looking forward to having some money again too. Much love to all my blog friends :)

I need to vent

Ok, so the people I work with are sick of listening to me complain about how bad my back hurts. So, I figured I would type it out just to get my feelings out. I am still not exactly sure what is wrong with my back but I am going to a specialist this coming Tuesday. Thank God. I cant stand the pain any longer.

This is what it feels like: most of the pain is in my lower back on both sides of my spine. The pain kinda explodes up thru the middle of my back stopping just before the shoulder blades. It also shoots down both legs ( but not all the time ) and the best part is that it feels like someone is squeezing my testicles too. My primary Dr thinks I have an inflamed nerve that is connected to all the other nerves ( explaining the shooting pains...even in the testicles.) However, the Orthopedic Dr will tell me for sure. I will most likely be getting cortizone shots directly into my back...everyone I know that has received the shots say they dont work. I am willing to try anything at this point. I am so empty-headed all the time from taking all the pills. After I ate lunch I took two muscle relaxers, one of pain pill #1, one of pain pill #2, and an
anti-inflammatory. I hate feeling like this, especially when I have taken all those pills and my back still hurts. :( Thanks for "listening" everybody. Have a good weekend too :)

Moving Day

The day has finally arrived. It is time to move. Really looking forward to living in the new house ( it's so nice and so cool ) but not looking forward to the actual act of moving. I have a ton of shizz that will prolly take the whole day to move. Oh, and I am moving out of a four bedroom into a three bedroom too, which means I will prolly be having a garage sale to sell the excess that wont fit into the new place. It is a really interesting rock house...when you walk in the foyer has a rock floor and there's this huge rock column in between the living room, dining room, and kitchen. It opens into a fire place in the living room too. So cool...I love it and cant wait to build a fire this winter. Gotta jet for now but maybe another post this afternoon....

Time for vengence

If anyone remembers Manders post about "Magda" from our work...then you will have no problem relating to this post. She is among the nastiest and most horrible people I have ever known. Think Cruella De Ville, only after me instead of the puppies. Each day I am faced with a different altercation with her and get no back up from her boss. He lets her act any way she chooses and she does...bcs there are no reprecussions. So, what's the vengence you ask? Well, I have tried flattening her tires but I am getting tired of getting up in the middle of the night and driving all the way to her house. Now I will be putting Visine in her drink every day. I only have to watch for her to go to the restroom to make my move. Diarrhea everyday should teach her a lesson. Or at least make her feel like shit, as she does me when she's screaming at me. I normally am not so vindictive but this has gone on long enough and action must be taken. Dont mess with a fag who has a mean streak is all I can say....because you will end up getting jacked up. Or at least suffer thru having the runs every day. :)

Justin's out of the coma...or is he?

Ok, so with my back being so painful and seemingly getting worse...I have been prescribed some pretty powerful shizz. I dont enjoy being loaded all the time but for now it's a necessity. The real problem is that if I take the necessary steps (pills) to sleep at night then I dont wake up in the morning, until grams literally shakes me awake. By that time I am late for work. This has happened like 2 or 3 times a week for the last month. I am freaked that not only will I get fired but what if something were to happen in the night? My reaction time is non-existent. I can always not take anything and just be awake all night ( in horrible pain ) but at least I make it to work on time. So, for now I am going to keep taking the mind-numbing pills and grams is going to wake me up. Every day, now that should be interesting, waking up to grams shrill, screaming-loud voice. Hmm, maybe sleepless nights dont sound so bad after all....

Bouncing Jugs

This morning I was at our new house, yeah I am moving!! I was sitting there waiting for the cox cable and city dudes to fix the gas and got bored. So, I was out in the front yard just looking around, oh then pulling the hideous plastic flowers out of the flower boxes around the trees. I look up and see this young lady jogging down the street. Did I mention she was coming towards me? Wearing only a pink and orange sports bra and spandex hot shorts. Dang, it's a jug lover's dream. I watched her (of course!) until she passed by, thinking the whole time how much I hope she lives on my street. :)

Also: still with bf, who accepted all of my terms after our big talk. He is like a puppy. So eager to please and so excitable! He was pretty quiet during the talk as I dominated most of the conversation but then afterwards told me he would take the necessary steps to be with me. He really is a great guy. I just wish he was more of a "man." I think he is trying to emilate my personality must be the reason for his new more fem personality. At least I hope so, bcs I told him he was not the person I thought he was when we first met. Oh well, I guess no one is perfect...but for now I am still with him.

Andy

Ok, so it seems nearly everyone on here is a pet lover. As I am too I decided to dedicate this post to my dog: Andy. He is a 5lb half yorkie and half pomeranian. I just adore him and love to rough house, wrestle, and play with him. I would even say I would be lost without him now. He is almost 3 and I have had him since he was about 6 weeks old. It's kind-of a funny story how I got him. I was at work one Saturday afternoon when my parents called and said I needed to come home after work...they had something for me. Considering I didnt live with my parents, I thought this was strange. So, I get home from work and they had bought me a dog!!!! I had not had a dog since I was a little boy, plus I was working like 60 hrs a week ( rest mgr ) and didnt think I would be able to devote enough time to him. But I loved him instantly and kept him. He is a once in a lifetime dog. As a mix of two other breeds, you know. I spend most of my time wanting to choke him...he is very stubborn, doesnt come when you call him, and will bite if you even try to pick him up. I usually bribe him with treats. This action must be taken when trying to coax him into the bedroom or even to go outside to potty. Man, he does seem a lot like me after all. :) At least he's cute, so that makes all of his short-coming tolerable. And as I said earlier, life would be awful lonely without him.

JUGS EXTRAVAGANZA

Ok, y'all...I dont exactly know how to explain it but I am gay dude who is crazy for the jugs. I love to see them and sometimes touch them. I usually dont but I LOVE to see them. Just ask Manders, she will tell you how much I love them. Oh, and hers are perfect. Full, Round, and Lovely...she should be very proud. I love it when she brings them to work on display. :)

Ok, on Saturday I was out grocery shopping and see this goddess approaching me. She is something out of a fashion magazine. Tall, bronzed skin, long/thick/full sandy-blondish hair. And the jugs were out loud and proud. She was hot, hot, hot. I watched her for a couple minutes when she passed by me and said "hey" to which I quickly ( not wanting to seem bizarre bcs I had been staring at her) replied "I like your shirt" and then we made small talk for a minute until grams came looking for me. The funny part? I dont even know what the hell the shirt looked like. :)

Saturday later in the day I see a not-as-hot-as-before girl coming towards me down the cosmetics aisel ( I told y'all I was gay..and out of foundation!! ) who was wearing this hooker like tank top that was a size or two too small. But there were the jugs. Sitting high and mighty as if they were better than real ones. I looked anyway and she smiled at me. I smiled back and asked how much they were. She busted up laughing and then said $7600...I got them 6yrs ago when they were more expensive. Then I helped her pick out a couple of lip glosses and some eye shadow. I wanted to go for a full make-over with her but she said she didnt wear blush or eye liner. Whatever, how many hookers you know dont wear blush and eye liner??? :)

It's Friday, finally

So, it's friday, y'all. For a boy like me : it's Fryday, as in getting fried. Love it. Only one problem, I am not enjoying the Fryday like I should, or normally do. Perhaps it might have something to do with the fact that I was up sick all night, which was proceeded by an argument with my best friend of 11 yrs and my grandma too. I am usually really calm ( wonder why? ) but I did kinda lose it with both of them...not exactly my style. I like to be the reserved one who makes the other one feel foolish. :) ok, enough about that....moving on.

So, I am still with my bf, but am only seeing him every other day or so now. Before we were seeing each other daily and it was getting to be too much, too soon. Oh, he is still calling a gazillion times a day though. It's nice to be loved but being smothered is a whole other story. I have this weird thing about me that all the men I get involved with either: just want sex only ( first name basis only too, no more personal info ) or fall in love with me in five minutes and want me to move in with them and get married. I just can't seem to find a guy that wants to date and have fun. I need someone in between the above mentioned formers.

Anyone know any decent, good-looking, nice, humorous and witty, employed, laid-back, homos?
Oh, and they should live in Ok too. I cant be faithful to someone who doesnt live in the same town...I have tried :)

Lunch With The Family

I just returned to work from having lunch with my mom, grandma, and 4 year old niece. It was quite the experience. As it turns out our waitress is the room mate of some random dude from the past...you know, someone I had a one night stand with. She immediately recognized me and said I looked familiar. I knew who she was but pretended I didnt...then she carried on for like 5 minutes about cute I am and how much she liked my out fit ( which is pretty hot.) I could tell my parents were a tad embarrassed but got over quickly when I changed the subject to them.
My mom starts a new, higher paying job this Monday so she was eager to talk.
Grams, smashed her hand in the garage door and needed some sympathy from her First and Favorite grandson, which I gladly dished out.
My niece was all about telling me what she did last night in the swimming pool with her brother, my 8 year old nephew. I love those kids and couldnt imagine my like without them, I kinda feel like they're my kids too. I have always been very close with my family, especially my sister. And now I worship her children. My brother has three kids that I am not quite as close too but love them just the same. They live a couple hours away so I dont see them as often as I would like to but when I do see them, it's a great time.

Ok, another issue...I had the best opportunity to have sex with someone other than my boyfriend last night....and I declined!!!! I was so proud of myself, for exercising self control-that I rarely have. I had just talked to the bf on the phone and he ended the conversation with an
I love you" so there was no way I was going to see someone else. No way at all. I dont exactly love him but think I should give him the chance he deserves. Go me, right? With my morals and all :) new found moral at that.

Well, guess that's about it for now but would love to hear some feedback and opinions.

A SPECIAL SHOUT-OUT

I must thank Mander's....for posing for the new picture on my profile.
I did loan her the black bra though. :)

Oh, yeah!

I forgot to mention in the last post that there are other dudes interested in me too.

#1 : lives in Okc and is really cute, nice, and has a great personality. The problem? He lives a couple hours away and honestly, I dont think I can be faithful to someone who doesnt live in the same town.

#2: lives here and I have been having sex with him for about three years and he is now wanting to date me, exclusively. He is very attractive, has a great job where he makes tons of $, but he has this huge gun collection that freaks me out.

#3: also lives here. He is good looking and really likes me, almost worships me which is weird but flattering. The draw-back on this one? He has three kids and a bitter, nasty ex wife who would make our lives miserable and relationship almost impossible. I really like him though.

So there you have it: my soap opera style dating situation.

What Should I do?

I didnt do a post yesterday so here's #2 for today:

Ok, so I have been single for like three years-not lonely years because I am kind-of a tramp. Some might even say a slut :)
For the last like 6 weeks I have been seeing this dude. He is very cute, treats me like no other has before, very good in bed ( more on that later )but doesnt have a job. He has expressed that he is going to get a job but hasnt even really looked. He is already saying he loves me, which is nice. Here's the problem: I dont feel like I can fall in love with someone who doesnt have a job. Should I keep seeing him ( I dont want to lead him on ) or break it off now? I really like this guy and dont want to seem shallow but damn, six weeks and no job. I have tried to weigh the pros and cons but just cant reach a final decision. He is about the nicest boyfriend I have ever had and so thoughtful too. He is really sensitive and sweet but then becomes really aggressive and masculine at the appropriate time :)
He is also getting along great with my family ( he has met grams from the above post and my aunt who also lives with us ) and they reallly like him.

There, I have vented and shared my most challening issue.
Any thoughts or comments? Feel free...

A Lesson Learned

Ok, so I once again learned something the hardest way possible.

First of all, let me start out with saying that I have an inflamed nerve in between a couple of disks in my lower back...that being said you can imagine the astounding amount of pain I endure each day. I take pills, limit my physical activities, and even wear lidocaine patches but nothing really helps. That being said, here's the story:

I am moving into a different house next week, so we are starting to move things each day. ( oh, and my room mate is my 64 yr old grandmother.)
Monday evening I am walking down the hallway in our current house and see grams coming out of the spare bedroom, which is a tv room, carrying the tv!!! She's fuggin' 64, yall! So, I immediately take the tv from her and make it about 3 steps and then fall with the tv under me.
Wow, let me tell you how it feels to fall on a tv....not good. At all.
So, I spent the day bedridden and laying on ice yesterday.
The best part of all? While laying on ice: my grams tells me with her hand on hip that I need to hurry up and get better because she can't do the fuckin' move herself!!!

So, what's the lesson? When you see your grandmother carrying a tv, and she says she can get it....just move out of the way and be a spectator.

Oh, and I also lost valuable jug viewing time being at home instead of here with Manders :)

We love My Life on the D-List

Manders and I both have a mutual love for Kathy Griffin's raunchy humor. Of course, I have always liked her as she has a huge gay following but Manders loves it too. Our boss is always saying how she's a gay man trapped in a woman's body....I had never considered it until now. lol...just kidding, Manders. Those jugs are all woman.

There are also a couple of other good shows on Bravo as well. Like Project Runway, which I love. It's so much fun to watch these desperate designers struggling to finish a "runway worthy" garment in the small time given....you guys should check it out sometime.

Until next time...I hope all of my visitors enjoy my new blog.

I know it's a little soon for another post, but I could'nt resist. For those of you who know Manders from X's and O's...she is the inspiration behind this blog. She has the most beautiful jugs ever. I should know...I have been sitting beside her and her jugs for about the last year. They might not alwasy be visible but they're always present. And what a present they are!
Everyone: feel free to leave comments and links to your own blogs!!!

Hello, everyone. I am a normal, homosexual guy who wanted to create a blog that expresses my intereset in jugs. I will be posting about jug sightings and just random events in my life...stay tuned because you never know what I will post.