Results, finally

I went in today to hear the results of my mri...I have what's called trigger points. They are like balls of fire within a muscle. I have one on each side of my spine. They are so swollen and inflamed that they are caused my lower lumber discs #L1 and L2 to bulge. So freakin' painful that I hate to even move at this point. I am pushing forward though, I really have no other choice. I must work to maintain my job as my health insurance is thru my job. I would want to keep my job even if my insurance wasn't thru it. I am now going to physical therapy that my co-pay is $30 per session and I will end up doing either eight or nine sessions. I will have to morgage my house to pay all these medical bills and then log in extra hours on the topless dancing runway to pay my mortgage. :) I just hope my back gets better so I can resume my pole dancing side career. lol....

On another note: I am still with my worthless boyfriend who I have not seen in person in 5 weeks. He is so history as soon as I see him. But I just dont know when I will feel well enough to treck all the way over to his house. I am seriously considering an over the phone break up. But then I will still have to see him in person after that bcs I have a couple of his movies. That I am certain he wants back. Oh well, I will figure something out...eventually. He must suspect something is different, I mean we dont even talk everyday! Most of the time when he calls me I let it go to voice mail bcs I just cant deal with him whining about how much he misses me or how much he wants to see me. I just want to tell him " if you would drive, we wouldnt have this problem." Have I mentioned he doesnt drive? Yeah, he doesnt and doesnt plan on ever driving again. I am like whatever, I wouldnt let a couple of accidents keep me from driving. Waiting for a ride and stuff all the time would be like being in prison!! And who the hell wants that?

Well, friends, I will let y'all know how the physial therapy goes or if worse comes to worse: what hospital room to send the flowers too. :)

It's finally happening

Tonight I go in for my MRI. Then starting Wed I will go to physical therapy twice a week. I just hope it does some good for $30 a session. God knows how broke I am due to missing work and paying for expensive prescriptions. I am having a few "good days" though. But then the next day it's back to being in pain. Sucks hard core. Other than my almost constant misery, there's nothing new in my life. Still with the bf ( for now ) but still waiting for my moment to break it off in person. It's been over a month since I have seen him so I am sure he has some kind of hint that things just are not right. Or working for me.

Stay tuned for MRI results....

No excitement

Hey there, to all my loved ones out there. I unfortunately do not have anything new or exciting to post. Seriously, nothing. With my back still in the same state, I have no life at all right now. With the exception of taking my dog outside and going to work, I literally spend every minute in bed or on the sofa. Glamorous, right? I am so looking forward to getting back to my normal, non-moral having ways. :) I am pretty much single again and looking to start dating again, or at least my version of dating. I hope to have some excitement to blog about soon, as I am sure most are sick of reading my rants about my back pain/issues. I am going back to the specialist next week and will prolly go in for an MRI...for which I hope my insurance co-pay isn't a gazillion dollars. Even if it is, you know I will be getting one anyway.

Back to the bf thing: I am currently still with him, but only because lack of opportunity to break it off. He has had some dramatic events in his life as well over the last month. A death in his famuly, his dad diagnosed with cancer, and his best friend in the hospital having valve replacement surgery ( in her heart no less ) so what kind of bitch would I be to dump him while he has so much sadness already? Besides that, I am not about to drive all the way across town with my back hurting so bad just to break up with him...and it's like 104 degrees outside.
I will have my "talk" with him as soon as I am better and his life isn't so soap opera. I hate it that I have to put it off but have no other choice right now. He is in love with me so I think breaking up over the phone would be cruel and heartless. And I am neither. I will keep y'all posted on my romantic situation...stay tuned because single Justin (juglover) will have some great dating stories. For real, like two or three a week. Adventurous, right?

No relief?

I have had both rounds of shots in each side of my back, had some physical therapy with an individual, and totally taking it easy. The downside? I am still in pain. Not as bad and not as constant but pain non-the-less. I am really getting discouraged. I was expecting the shots to make everything all better. I am still at the point where I cant stand up to shower, have to sit down while shaving, and spend every minute I can laying down. Usually with an ice pack or hooked up to the electronic impulse machine. Which I had to buy. Nice, right? I am also still dead-headed from the pills too...but the pain remains. It sucks to be me, y'all. I would not wish this on anyone, as it's the worst thing I have ever gone thru. And I was pushed thru a second story window at 14 then beat up to the point where I was unrecognizable at 18. Those times were nothing compared to this. I guess I will call the Orthopedic specialist and see what he has to say about it. There will prolly be more shots to come or maybe even more drastic measures but something has got to give. I rolled off my waist high bed last Tuesday and might have caused even more damaged or jacked up something else. All I know is that it hurt like hell and scared the shit out of me too. Everyone I have told about it has laughed but if they were in my position they certainly would not have found anything funny about it. What if I am permanently jacked up? At 29...sounds like a dream come true, huh? I am constantly wearing my back brace, which is ultra sexy and trying my best to get back to some kind of normal routine but it sure is a rough road to recovery.

I have been in so much pain, all couped up in bed that I have not had any jug sightings at all. Unfortunate, I know. I need to get better and get out there and view me some lovely.

Until then, much love to all my faithful friends and readers.

Shout Out

I need to give a shout out to another pair of jugs in my office. They belong to our receptionist, who is really cute. I love her style and the jugs are lovely. And large. I bet she's at least a double D. So wear em proud and out on display, honeyl.

I am getting anxious about the shots tomorrow...hoping they aren't as painful as the last time. I am also hoping my hundred year old specialist is in a better mood. Or maybe he just seemed cranky to me. Or maybe he does not like homos. Who knows what his problem was??? His attitude sure sucked though. Maybe his viagra stopped working?? :)

Same old, Same old

Still no change in the back situation. I am eagerly awaiting my next appt with the specialist for the next round of back shots. Hurts like hell but should help in the long run. At least I hope. If not, it will be physical therapy. Which is not appealing to me at all. I am only 29 and it just seems weird that I should need physical therapy. Makes me feel old, like I am in my 50's or something. I am hoping for some relief soon so I can get my new house together. I am dying to make it look pretty. Of course all the furniture and stuff is already in place but I am talking about hanging pictures on the walls and stuff like that. My grandma has organized the kitchen and is still getting a lot of things like that together but the decorating is my thing. If not, it will end up looking like an old lady lives there...even though one does, it doesn't have to look like it! So, for now I am still dealing with the pain and dead-headed feeling and forcing myself to carry on. Wish me luck everyone, cause I sure need it.

Pain and Misery

I have been thru it y'all. After the big move I decided to go back down to the "normal" dosage of my drugs...this was a huge mistake. I woke up Tuesday morning and literally could not stand up. I was getting the shots in my back the next day so I figured I would take the day off work and be back to normal the next day after the shots. Wrong again. The specialist I got the shots from made me do all the stretches to "make it really hurt" and then gave me the shot. With a needle so large it required an anesthetic. Ouch, for real. I almost jumped off the table. So, after the shot I barely made it down to my mom's office bcs I could not drive myself home. She babied me and stopped and bought me lunch too. She is the best Mom ever, I could not have asked for a better one. I slept the remainder of that day and wake up the next day to a burning sensation all thru-out my back and down both legs. Ouch again, will I ever be pain-free? Son-of-a-bitch, I was expecting to wake up and do a back handspring. Wrong for the third time. So, I take a third day off...which I hated to do. By Friday I was back at work and hating every minute of it. I was in just as much pain as ever and being almost alienated by my co-workers...someone missing work makes it really tough on everyone else. But still, I was unable to walk or stand-it's not like I was getting my hair and nails done. Horrible, horrible day. Feeling like shizz and hating each minute of how everyone else was acting towards me. I hope things calm down soon, both for my body and my work situation. Oh, did I mention that I am now going to be completely broke from missing so much work and paying for the specialist office visits (three more rounds of shots then physical therapy too. ) Plus all these different prescriptions bcs none of them seem to do anything for me. I always thought I had a low tolerance but I guess it's higher than I thought. I have found a muscle relaxer that does provide some relief but it really jacks me up. So much that I only take one at work. Oh, I did get one of those electronic stimulation machines that has the electrodes that you can attach anywhere you need relaxation. It is portable so I will be wearing it at work too. Should be tons of fun. Well, I guess that pretty much sums up the last week for me...much pain and misery, hurt feelings, and even more fugging pain. I am extremely optimistic about the next round of shots though, they should cut the pain in half. At least that's what Dr. Sadistic said. Oh, and looking forward to having some money again too. Much love to all my blog friends :)