2010 so far...

has not been great but not completely terrible either.

Things between R and myself are pretty good. I hate that it took me moving completely out and staying gone for an entire week for him to realize some things...but better late than never I suppose. I am hoping we will fall back into a normal routine and life will regain some normality. I really hope that he stays true to his pledge of being different...cuz if he doesnt then I am gone. For good this time. I will not let myself get sucked back in again. I am still having difficulty believing I came back this time...I hope I am not a fool. Lord, please let this time be different for real is all I am saying...

Subway is pretty good too. Not great, but what do I expect, right? Not much more than I am getting now. I started breakfast at my store today...I hope it goes over decent enough not to eat away at my bonus but not so much that it heaps more onto my workload...cuz its full. Its real full for the 9.25 an hr I make running the joint. I remind myself daily that: I am my own boss who writes my own schedule, work mostly Mon-Fri during the day, get a great deal on my insurance, and my phone bill is paid too. The bonus has been a little disappointing so far but this time next year it should double. Should anyway...
I also have a new asst mgr. She is a lesbian that I actually get along with...well, most of the time. She is a big help on most things most days but like anyone else has an off day once in a while. Overall, I am glad to have her...and focus on the things she does for me and not on how she does them differently than I would...control is so hard to let go of, especially when your salary rides on so many things that so many people are into...

In other news: I bought a desk. I am sitting at it now. I am planning to buy a futon next. I am going to furnish this room in R's house with things I can use later if I have to leave him again. I am keeping the mini storage I rented for peace of mind too...I can be moved out and into storage in three car loads or less ( with what I have now. ) Of course, I cant exactly get everything I will need or it will seem obvious but I can get most everything. Things like towels and such I will not buy. I do already have glasses though. Back to the desk. I love it. Its black metal and glass and quite modern I think. I will have to consider it when planning future purchases...

All in all, things are decent for me. I am hoping to get my heiress check soon so I will have some money in the bank and pay off my car...which I only owe $2500 on! Its still running good too.

Well, thats it for now...

Justin, still here.

Well, here we go...

Going out of town this weekend for a much needed mini vacation. I was single last week ( more on that later ) and intend to go thru with my plans.

Things have been pretty fucked up for me lately. I dont really know where to start...

1. Moved completely out of R's house.
2. Moved in with mom.
3. Moved half my shit into a mini storage.
4. Moved back in with R...only halfway for now.
5. Been sick as hell all week long feeling tired and run-down. Sore throat and cough bad today.

I just hope getting away will relax me and leave me feeling energized enough to tackle my life and all its problems when I return...

I am feeling real confused and conflicted lately. I love R and want to be with him...yet also have so many hard feelings against him. I just dont know what to do...

Justin, confused