My week this week has been very interesting to say the least...
I have been with Rodney all week. Literally, spent every night here for the last ten days. Actually spent every night here in the last 16 days except one. I have gotten to know him very well. So far, so good. I am being very reasonable about what to expect...you know, like not expecting some romance novel or fairy tale romance. I want something real. And real is what I am getting.
Today is Rodney's b-day. He is currently at lunch with his family. Yes, that's right, I didnt go. I felt it was a bit too soon. Also, I didnt want to have to answer any personal questions about myself either...at least not right now. In time I will be more than willing to do family things with him...just not today. I think he understood and hope he wasnt too hurt by me not going. It really had more to do with me and my issues.
Anyways...things have gone quite well for us this week, for the most part. There have been a couple of uncomfortable moments but nothing we couldnt work past, just normal things that normal couples go thru. I really think he and I can make it work. My main concern is that I am not working, or doing anything with myself right now. I really need to turn that around. But I am wondering "How?" "Where?" there are some obsticles there...
Like, should I try to get a job near Rodney's house or where I have been living in Tulsa? That is a really tough one there. There are reason's why I should do both. Oh well...I guess that is a choice I will make a different day.
I saw my grams a couple days ago. It was a nice visit...not great but still good. It was a bit strained or at least I felt like it was...
I feel like things are still incredibly strained between Mom and I and also between my sister and I...really am kinda worried about that stuff too...so much going on right now and feel like I dont really have anyone to talk to about it. I have really always been like that. Like I should keep things to myself. Not sure why, I guess I am more guarded than I thought. Who knew?
Ok, y'all. The winds of change have blown. Now it's decision time. Continue reading to learn which way things go...
Will I end up getting a job in Owasso where Rodney lives and live happily ever after?
Will I end up gettting a job in Tulsa and keep staying at Kirk's?
What will happen? How will things turn out for me????
Justin, he who loves jugs :-)
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Monday, Monday
Today was an up and down kind-of day...very much like a roller coaster.
Things are going ok now, as I am with Rodney. I brought along several changes of clothes bcs he told me he wants me to stay with him, for a few days anyway. He also told me last night that he wants me to be with him always, to never leave. How sweet is that? I just love him so much, already.
Still talking to Mackie too. We have spoken several times since our conversation on Sunday, which was the first time we talked to each other in four months. Of course he is expecting things to be as if no time has past...still expecting to be number one and my top priority. News for him, he is not. I just can not put him first anymore. I just cant do it. And wont do it. Moving on...
I get to see my grandma this week!!! I am so excited about that. I have missed her so much. These past couple months is the first time we have gone any length of time without seeing each other in 15 years. I feel like a part of me is missing. Oh well, at least I get to see her sooner than what I thought I would. Wish me luck y'all bcs it will most likely be very emotional.
Much love,
Justin in love
Things are going ok now, as I am with Rodney. I brought along several changes of clothes bcs he told me he wants me to stay with him, for a few days anyway. He also told me last night that he wants me to be with him always, to never leave. How sweet is that? I just love him so much, already.
Still talking to Mackie too. We have spoken several times since our conversation on Sunday, which was the first time we talked to each other in four months. Of course he is expecting things to be as if no time has past...still expecting to be number one and my top priority. News for him, he is not. I just can not put him first anymore. I just cant do it. And wont do it. Moving on...
I get to see my grandma this week!!! I am so excited about that. I have missed her so much. These past couple months is the first time we have gone any length of time without seeing each other in 15 years. I feel like a part of me is missing. Oh well, at least I get to see her sooner than what I thought I would. Wish me luck y'all bcs it will most likely be very emotional.
Much love,
Justin in love
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Still in love...
I love being in love :)
A bit sappy, I know but I just cant help it. It has been so many years since I have been in love. And this time my love is returned. It's just so freakin' great. I am sitting here looking at my love and cant help but think how great he is. So cute and such a great dad too. You know how much I love kids and you dont get a much better idea of how someone is than to see them with kids...especially if the kids happen to be their own. For real, Rod is a great dad and after seeing him with his son I love him even more. He did the sweetest thing this morning...he woke me up to tell me he loves me. : )
On to other news: I spoke with M today for the first time since leaving Ar in May. That's right, we had another episode of not talking for months at a time. This makes the third time in the last couple of years we have done this. He started to text me a couple weeks ago. At first I didnt respond but I decided that it was time we patched things up. Of course, things will prolly never be the same between us...I can forgive but I will never forget. Our conversation was pretty nice, we didnt really talk about anything too serious. Just light, general conversation. I did learn that he has been talking to my Mom and Sister, which kinda pissed me off. I mean really, he goes behind someone's back and does something like that. I can understand how he was curious about me and wanted to know what was going on with me during the last four months but still, to call my Mom & Sister? Not cool with me...I overlooked it though. He does seem to be doing well. And at least our conversation wasnt strained or awkward. I am pretty sure our friendship will pick up where it left off and hopefully this time we can keep things going without further incident. I hope...
Back to Rodney...
I just cant help but think about him. He is the best thing to happen to me in so long...he's everything I have waited/wished for. Ok, ok I will cut out the sappy shit now. Promise.
My birthday is next week. Yep, another b-day. This year is 31. I cant believe another year has passed me by. Literally, passed me by. I did nothing worthwhile this past year. It was quite the opposite. I seem to have regressed but all that is changing now. I am so determined to turn shit around, you have no idea. I just hope I can make it happen the way I see it in my mind. I am thinking it will be difficult but most things are, that's just life.
I tried to get Mother to come see me today. Unfortunately, she was too busy doing yard work. Flattering, right? "I would rather be mowing than have lunch with you." That's how I took it...childish, I know but my feelings were hurt. It seems every time I try, she has something else better to do. I am to the point now where I no longer want to try...dont you love how I can change to whole mood of a post with just one sentence? Sorry 'bout that shizz.
On to more light hearted junk. My bestest girl friend left me her new phone number in my hotmail and I am planning to talk to her later tonight. I hope I have time, bcs I will be with Rod. And with his Rod too : )
So to wrap up...still in love, back talking to M, Mom's to busy for me, and still in love : )
Much love,
Justin, he loves the jugs
A bit sappy, I know but I just cant help it. It has been so many years since I have been in love. And this time my love is returned. It's just so freakin' great. I am sitting here looking at my love and cant help but think how great he is. So cute and such a great dad too. You know how much I love kids and you dont get a much better idea of how someone is than to see them with kids...especially if the kids happen to be their own. For real, Rod is a great dad and after seeing him with his son I love him even more. He did the sweetest thing this morning...he woke me up to tell me he loves me. : )
On to other news: I spoke with M today for the first time since leaving Ar in May. That's right, we had another episode of not talking for months at a time. This makes the third time in the last couple of years we have done this. He started to text me a couple weeks ago. At first I didnt respond but I decided that it was time we patched things up. Of course, things will prolly never be the same between us...I can forgive but I will never forget. Our conversation was pretty nice, we didnt really talk about anything too serious. Just light, general conversation. I did learn that he has been talking to my Mom and Sister, which kinda pissed me off. I mean really, he goes behind someone's back and does something like that. I can understand how he was curious about me and wanted to know what was going on with me during the last four months but still, to call my Mom & Sister? Not cool with me...I overlooked it though. He does seem to be doing well. And at least our conversation wasnt strained or awkward. I am pretty sure our friendship will pick up where it left off and hopefully this time we can keep things going without further incident. I hope...
Back to Rodney...
I just cant help but think about him. He is the best thing to happen to me in so long...he's everything I have waited/wished for. Ok, ok I will cut out the sappy shit now. Promise.
My birthday is next week. Yep, another b-day. This year is 31. I cant believe another year has passed me by. Literally, passed me by. I did nothing worthwhile this past year. It was quite the opposite. I seem to have regressed but all that is changing now. I am so determined to turn shit around, you have no idea. I just hope I can make it happen the way I see it in my mind. I am thinking it will be difficult but most things are, that's just life.
I tried to get Mother to come see me today. Unfortunately, she was too busy doing yard work. Flattering, right? "I would rather be mowing than have lunch with you." That's how I took it...childish, I know but my feelings were hurt. It seems every time I try, she has something else better to do. I am to the point now where I no longer want to try...dont you love how I can change to whole mood of a post with just one sentence? Sorry 'bout that shizz.
On to more light hearted junk. My bestest girl friend left me her new phone number in my hotmail and I am planning to talk to her later tonight. I hope I have time, bcs I will be with Rod. And with his Rod too : )
So to wrap up...still in love, back talking to M, Mom's to busy for me, and still in love : )
Much love,
Justin, he loves the jugs
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Another post!!!
Even thought I just did a post, I felt compelled to do another...
My last post was all about my new love and this one will be about me.
Life is going along pretty slow. Havent worked since May. I have been hiding from life, and reality. It has taken me since then to feel like I could face the world again, you know after my little break down...which was pretty devastating. There, I said it: breakdown. I did have one. A serious one. One that cost me my job, house, car, family, and my life. I am now going to start over and try to rebuild what I once had. It will be tough but it must be done. I know deep down I have the courage to do so, it's taken me until now to realize that. I feel like I have wasted enough time feeling sorry for myself and hiding from the world. I have been staying with a friend and have barely left his house since the first week of July. But now, with meeting Rodney, I know it's time to get back out into the world and become a part of it again.
I feel like I have said to much already and must go...
Justin...the new Justin who still loves the jugs :)
My last post was all about my new love and this one will be about me.
Life is going along pretty slow. Havent worked since May. I have been hiding from life, and reality. It has taken me since then to feel like I could face the world again, you know after my little break down...which was pretty devastating. There, I said it: breakdown. I did have one. A serious one. One that cost me my job, house, car, family, and my life. I am now going to start over and try to rebuild what I once had. It will be tough but it must be done. I know deep down I have the courage to do so, it's taken me until now to realize that. I feel like I have wasted enough time feeling sorry for myself and hiding from the world. I have been staying with a friend and have barely left his house since the first week of July. But now, with meeting Rodney, I know it's time to get back out into the world and become a part of it again.
I feel like I have said to much already and must go...
Justin...the new Justin who still loves the jugs :)
Rodney
Hold onto your seats y'all...I am about to drop a bombshell.
I have a new boyfriend...that's right, I have a boyfriend. A serious one too.
His name is Rodney. I have known him for a little over a week now and have spent every night with him in that week. We quickly became inseparable. He is forty-two, with brown hair and blue eyes ( not as pretty blue as mine, but blue none the less. ) He is so nice, and is exactly the kind of guy I have been waiting to find. He is pretty much perfect for me. We have the same astrological sign so we have a lot of similarities. But are just different enough to keep things interesting...
The sex is outstanding...I am talking scorchingly hot. He freakin rocks my world but I wont carry on anymore about that. Except to say that he is the first man I have come across in over a year and a half that I am willing to do some of the things we have done.
The best part? I love him. Yes, I said it, I love him. Even better than that, he loves me. I see it in his eyes. We have moved pretty fast, but when it's right, it's right. We clicked so well I kinda scared me at first. I have never met someone I clicked with like this. Nor have I ever met someone who could make me fall for him the way I have fallen for him. As I type this I am sitting here in his living room with his nine year old son, and not at all uncomfortable. It's not weird or awkward in any way. Oh, I also met his parents today too. Can you believe it?!?!
I hate to get ahead of myself here...but I am predicting that we will be together for a long time. At least I sure hope so. I just cant believe I have fallen in love with a decent man for a change. I feel so good about going into a relationship this time...no trepidation or anything. Like I said before, it just feels right. He told me today that he was ready to walk me down the aisle. And you know what? I am ready for that too. You guys know I am not the marrying kind but all that has changed. I am just in shock... the good kind. He treats me so good. Like I deserve to be treated. Finally, a boyfriend who treats me as good as I treat them. Finally!!!
All those bad experiences were worth it to get to this one.
For now, I am in love and going with it...everyone join hands and pray that things work out for me and Rodney...although I dont think we need but it never hurts.
Much love to everyone out there.
Justin, the in love juglover
I have a new boyfriend...that's right, I have a boyfriend. A serious one too.
His name is Rodney. I have known him for a little over a week now and have spent every night with him in that week. We quickly became inseparable. He is forty-two, with brown hair and blue eyes ( not as pretty blue as mine, but blue none the less. ) He is so nice, and is exactly the kind of guy I have been waiting to find. He is pretty much perfect for me. We have the same astrological sign so we have a lot of similarities. But are just different enough to keep things interesting...
The sex is outstanding...I am talking scorchingly hot. He freakin rocks my world but I wont carry on anymore about that. Except to say that he is the first man I have come across in over a year and a half that I am willing to do some of the things we have done.
The best part? I love him. Yes, I said it, I love him. Even better than that, he loves me. I see it in his eyes. We have moved pretty fast, but when it's right, it's right. We clicked so well I kinda scared me at first. I have never met someone I clicked with like this. Nor have I ever met someone who could make me fall for him the way I have fallen for him. As I type this I am sitting here in his living room with his nine year old son, and not at all uncomfortable. It's not weird or awkward in any way. Oh, I also met his parents today too. Can you believe it?!?!
I hate to get ahead of myself here...but I am predicting that we will be together for a long time. At least I sure hope so. I just cant believe I have fallen in love with a decent man for a change. I feel so good about going into a relationship this time...no trepidation or anything. Like I said before, it just feels right. He told me today that he was ready to walk me down the aisle. And you know what? I am ready for that too. You guys know I am not the marrying kind but all that has changed. I am just in shock... the good kind. He treats me so good. Like I deserve to be treated. Finally, a boyfriend who treats me as good as I treat them. Finally!!!
All those bad experiences were worth it to get to this one.
For now, I am in love and going with it...everyone join hands and pray that things work out for me and Rodney...although I dont think we need but it never hurts.
Much love to everyone out there.
Justin, the in love juglover
Sunday, September 16, 2007
weekend adventures
What started out as a boring and just-like-any-other weekend sure turned out to be a ton of fun.
I actually met someone...I know me, who would have thought? I pretty much spent the entire weekend with him and didnt once get annoyed. Good news, right?
Stay tuned for more details...
I actually met someone...I know me, who would have thought? I pretty much spent the entire weekend with him and didnt once get annoyed. Good news, right?
Stay tuned for more details...
Saturday, September 15, 2007
back again, briefly
Hey everybody! Hope all my chums in the blogosphere are doing well.
Me? Not too bad, although I cant really go into any great details at this time. Just know that I am still around and dying bcs I am not able to post as frequently as I would like. I know, I know, it's hell for you guys too. :)
Anyways, I promise soon, very soon I will do a lengthy post to fill all my faithful readers in on the details of my life today. Promise!
Me? Not too bad, although I cant really go into any great details at this time. Just know that I am still around and dying bcs I am not able to post as frequently as I would like. I know, I know, it's hell for you guys too. :)
Anyways, I promise soon, very soon I will do a lengthy post to fill all my faithful readers in on the details of my life today. Promise!
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