Lately I am feeling really weird. Not sure why, or even what I am feeling...
Everything is getting me down. It seems like every way I turn there is adversity. I heard once that "those who face adversity become adverse themselves." I am starting to thing thats true.
I normally have no problem staying strong and facing down any challenge. Lately my work has beaten me down. I am exhausted and about ready to walk away from it... there is only so many hard days one can handle...even me.
Things are good between R and I right now. No major issues or huge blowups lately. That is a relief...who knew he would become the stable, dependable one in my life. He is my husband but not nearly as strong as I am so leaning on him makes me feel bad sometimes... I do love him so...
Tonights post is some random thoughts that I just typed out in the moment.
Another...is that my sister and I seem to be close again. I am still hurt that she didnt invite me to or even tell me about her wedding until days after...but I just ignore those feelings and think about the flimsy excuse that she gave me...it makes sense, right?
My mother? Things are alright there too. I feel like an outsider a lot with her and my sister bcs they are so close now and spend so much time together...but I dont have kids. And am in a gay relationship that I dont try to hide. And am a huge flamer too. I am surprised she invited me to a softball game tonight...but they invited me at the last second and only bcs they felt sorry for me. I had just talked to them both on the phone and they both knew that I knew they are going to a game less than five miles from my house. Back to my mom. I appreciate all she has done for me but she makes me feel like I am a nuicance a lot. Maybe thats just me...
Well, I think I am done for now.
Justin, not himself.
