It's been a weird one...

Hey guys, sorry for the absence. Mackie and I have been staying at aunt Cindy's house with his grandma and sister Tracy. Aunt Cindy was on vacay and Tracy was there to sit with Ninny and wanted Mackie and I to come stay with her. So we did. Aunt Cindys house is out in Gum Log, Ar and there is no internet access out there, or at least no signal I could get on this lap top.
They stay wasnt really that bad except for Ninny's dog constantly attacking everyone, the son of a bitch bit me! I hated to have to go outside bcs the motherfucker would not leave me alone. Mackie and his family just stood around and laughed about it. Over all, it wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be...but then again, it was just the four of us. Mackie's dad ans step mom live in a trailer right next to Aunt Cindy's trailer but we only saw them from time to time, not that much. I was glad to come home though. It has been a long week and we have just been lazy today.

We also worked all week too. Tuesday we went in and the place was a disaster! We spent two hrs cleaning the kitchen. Then more moving and other junk. The tension between Tim and I was starting to get a little hotter but he was still being stand-offish. Then Wed it started heating up a little...he started to touch me a lot. Plus that morning he went around with just a tee shirt. No bottoms on at all. He would prolly have been nude if he didnt have a belly. He started to talk to me more too...it was just a matter of time. He said something about washing the cars. I told him I would bring some shorts and do it the next day...I had a plan that would not fail.

Thursday we show up and clean the kitchen and Tim was antsi to get outside to do the cars but he had to go into town to get some soap and wax and tire cleaner. When he got back I changed into a tiny pair of gym shorts witout a shirt or underwear ( Mackie just wore what he had been wearing all day, and refused to change. ) Jack and Tim neither one could keep their eyes off me. By the time we were finished with the cars Tim was so wound up he was about to pop any second...and he asked me to take a shower with him. I said no and went inside to change. He, of course followed me and told me not change too fast. And then said he had yet had a chance to touch me. That time had arrived and let me tell you, he loved every minute of it. Jack yelled out to us so we didnt really have time to do a whole lot, which was perfect bcs he just got a little taste and is eager for more. We talked a little outside afterwards and he was very blunt about saying he wants to start an affair with me...the plan worked y'all! I am now going to continue to tease him without any follow thru until he gives me some money. My new plan is to tell him if he gives me money to get an apt then he can come over anytime...bcs that is our biggest problem, no place to go. I will convince him that renting me an apt ( or at least funding for me to rent one ) is a good idea. If he doesnt give me any then I wont give him any either.

Hmm, wonder how this is going to work out...

Later on,
Justin

meh...

Today was another day...Sunday May 20th ( or I think it's the 20th. )

We woke up today and got ready bcs aunt Rhonda was on her way to p\ick us up. We were headed to aunt Cindy's for the second Sunday in a row. Fun times...actually it wasnt that bad. Mackie's aunts are nice and funny, thank goodness bcs Mackie sure didnt go out of his way to make me feel comfortable. There wasnt that many people there this time so it wasnt bad at all...considering we were there for 5hrs. Mackie and I went out back for "smoke" breaks and that made the day much easier too. :)

Tomorrow I am hoping we will get to work with the old couple...we havent been there in days so I can only imagine how disgusting the house is. We will definitely be spending a couple or more hours cleaning the kitchen alone. ..fine with me, making ten bucks an hr for washing semi dirty dishes is nothing. It's pretty low key, the kitchen is kinda small so only me and Mackie are in there while we are cleaning. Well, they come in and out at different times to get coffee and stuff but do not stay long. They like to come and cruise us while we are in there...you can just feel them looking at you...kinda creepy. Oh well, it is ten bucks an hr so I can deal with a couple of old pervs checking me out...that's all they get without additional fees. :)


Things are going pretty good all facts considered...they could be going a little better between Mackie and I but nothing too bad so far. Just a couple of little spats that were not resolved within minutes. Stay tuned though bcs he is so controling and manipulative that I am sure there will be fireworks eventually.

Much love,
Juggy

another day in Ar...

Today was full of mixed emotions. We were awakened this morning by a phone call from our boss, well one of them, the younger one called to tell us not to come to work today. Kinda sucked bcs we were counting on that money. Ugh! The day was pretty lazy for us after that...didnt really do much except hang out and watch some tv. Pretty uneventfull, which was fine with me.

As promised I am going to give you guys the low down on this couple I have been working for...

Jack is the older one, and is about 74 or something. He is nice but very blunt. He wants sexual favors from me and is not shy about saying so. Nothing has happened...

Tim is the younger one and is about 58 or close to it. He is pretty nice and is also pretty dang forward. Yesterday after we were finished for the day I was outside waiting for Mackie to come so we could leave. Instead it was Tim and he had brought me a glass of wine. He asked me to come sit down and talk to him...down by the hot tub. He turned it on and removed the cover. He told me for the fourth time that day how sexy he thinks I am...whatever man. I sat a little over ten feet away from him and we chatted for a while. I got tired of waiting and wondering how I was going to tell him that if he wanted anything sexual to happen I would need payment up front...that's a tough one to bust out with. Usually old, gross men know they have to pay so they mention it right away. Not this one though, and I didnt want to take offend him either. Like I said, it's a touchy subject to bring up...so I didnt. I told him I was going to find Mackie and tell him I was hungry and ready to go. Tim looked disappointed and like he was going to say something but didnt and I went up the cement stairs and into the house....more on the house later too, it's fucking gorgeous. It's like a mini mansioin, by mini I mean 3500 sq feet. Details on the house and the condition of the house later...you will be shocked.


Gotta go for now, much love to y'all.

Justin Juglover

another rough one

I stayed home yesterday while Mackie went to work. He is doing some house cleaning and just general bullshit for this older gay couple. He told me before I came down here I would be able to go and work with him. He just needed a day to talk to them about it. Fine, I had a nice day just hanging out and doing a bunch of nothing. Well, I did load and unload the dishwasher and a few other things like that...no big thing. This morning I went to work with Mackie and man, was it a trip. This couple are a gay couple that have been together for 30 yrs or something close to it. One is 59 & the other is 73, and they are completely fucking loaded. They live in this mansion style home that they have just pitted out so much its sad. It's a gorgeous ass home that they have run down with allowing the dogs to live in the house. The guys are pigs too. We arrived this am to clean the kitchen. It was pretty gross. It took Mackie and I both almost two hours to clean it. Not bad though...they are paying us $10 an hour cash to do whatever they need. The rest of the day had us loading and unloading all these books. We had two suv backends completely loaded down with all these heavy ass books. They own a 12 screen movie theatre that they are moving a bunch of stuff to, well you get it, we are being paid to help them move. Not bad but it was one hell of a long walk unloading books at the theatre. And up two flights of stairs. That did kinda suck. We made $200 by the end of the day and they bought us lunch too.

Super tired for now, and needing to eat dinner so I will leave my very detailed descriptions of the guys for tomorrow. Believe me, you will want to read all about them....they are a trip.


Until next time...
Justin

latest excitement part 3

Ok, so I just checked out of the motel and now am wondering what to do. I was woke up this am by a phone call from Mackie...I pretty much told him I would be moving there to Ar with him today. I called mom and told her what I was planning to do and asked her to tell grams I would be stopping by to load more stuff into my car since I was pretty much moving permanently. After a pretty rough morning I made it to grams' house and finished loading up the car, at least this time it wasnt raining. I said my goodbyes and shed a few tears with mom and grams but hardly got a glance from my aunt...oh well, she will get over it soon enough. I cant help but wonder how it will work out her and grams living alone without me, who has always been the barrier/common ground between them. I called my boss and told him I was planning to move and hated absolutely hated to quit my job over the phone. I am really going to miss that place and all the people and acceptance I had at that job. Odyssey was one of the best jobs I had ever had...and I hated to walk away from it, especially under those circumstances. Oh well on that one too, I would have always been stuck in the same position under the same boss with the same pay forever.

So, it took me forever to drive to Ar today. Traffic was heavy most of the way. I met Mackie in Russelville and then followed him home a stretch down the highway to Conway, Ar my new home. So far it's gone ok, but overall not bad at all. I dont hate it here, it just doesnt seem like home. Maybe in time it will, but things are weird now. Mackie has told a couple of his friends about what I have been thru ( his version at that ) and he and his roommate are not really speaking either...more awkard than that? Not much... Mackie has also been sick lately too.

So, here we both are...with no jobs. Him sick and me with my back pain back at full force. You remember the kind I used to have. Well, it's back now that I have nothing to take for it, and it's driving me fucking crazy. Who wouldnt go insane with constant blinding pain? I hope for the day when I dont have to tolerate the pain anymore....

Well kids, now that I am living with Mackie in Arkansas, looking for a new job, and basically starting a new life, things will be interesting all the time. Look forward to reading about my fucked up life and not feeling so bad about yours afterward....


Much love to everyone,
Justin

Recent excitement continued...

So I have just been discharged from the pysch ward and in the car with mom and my sister leaving the hospital I learn that I am no longer allowed to live in my house with my granmother. My first thought was "what the fuck am I going to do now?" I called my job and convinced them to give me my paycheck a day earlier. My family had canceled my atm card as punishment but it was actually an advantage bcs without my card my pay acct was useless. At the bank they told me without my card I could not get any money until a new card arrived. No way that was going to work bcs I had no money, no place to go, and no gas in my car either. So, I called and told the acct lady ( who is one of the owner's wives and loves me a whole lot too ) and told her everything that had happened to me so far. She was symphatetic at once and told me to call her right back. When I did she told me she was cutting me a check right then. The only catch was that I had to go by there. It was quite a scene. Not really that bad but still bad enough. I cried in front of a couple of people and they hugged me. Some of them I am really going to miss...more on that later. I go to cash the check and after driving around in the pouring down rain. I needed a hot minute to gather my thoughts after getting discharged and then packing up a bunch of stuff into the car and the whole money thing which thank goodness worked out, I decide to rent a hotel room bcs the only person I could have stayed with was working until 9pm and was about 2pm at this time. I hated to waste money but had not many other options. I got some food, the food in the hospital I was in was gross and I pigged out. Then I slept a while after eating and watching some tv. I now had to decide was I going to stay in Tulsa and stay with someone ( but who? ) or move to Arkansas and stay with Mackie...who doesnt really have a job right now either? Hmm, these are some big decisions and I am sitting all alone in a kinda gross cheap motel room. What the fuck? How did things end up so bad for me so fast?

Damn....what should I do?
Find out in the next post Y'all...and stay tuned bcs I promise this is just the tip of what's about to start happening to me. It will be worth the read.

Daily.

Justin...the new one.

Excitment, anyone?

My posts lately have been kinda boring...well that stops today. In the last week, I have been in the hospital, quit my job, and moved to Arkansa. Bizarre, I know.

Here's the low down...

The harsh combination of all my pain pills kinda jacked me up. The ER Dr that I saw at the time of my overdose told me that the chemicals in the pills I was taking added up were like taking heroin. I know...me on heroine. Not pretty. With all the chemicals I had mixed up in my system last Monday May 6th 2007 caused me to have a bit of a nervous break down. I freaked out thinking I was hearing stuff and went a little crazy. I ended up taking all the pills I had and then slashed my wrists. Just wait, it gets better from here...I was taken to the ER about 16 hrs after I had done all this by my mom, my aunt, and my sister who were all completely pissed. So, they pumped my stomach, and then transfered me to the crazy hospital. That's right, I mental institution. It was just my luck that on this particular night there were no beds available in any of the 6 local hospitals' pysch wards. So, I was transfered about 45 miles north to the hospital in my home town. That I had not lived in for 15 yrs and was returning to the pysch ward. They tied me down and drugged me up for a day while I slept and then it was time to join in group and individual therapy sessions. The groups were really interesting. I wont really go into each individual person's personalities but let me just say that they were each beyond fucked up. I didnt belong there with them. I realize what I did was plain old stupid and wrong but I am not crazy. So, after a couple or so days the Shrink discharged me...but not before my mom tried to convince me and the shrink that I should stay. I got out...because the Dr felt it was best for me and my siuation.

That, I will have to get inyo later.


Until then guys,

Juggy

Rants

Hey Y'all...

I met this guy, Jordan. I met him thru a mutual friend ( the same one I met Tony & Buck thru.)
He is cute, seemed nice, and everything was great. Oh, and he's only 24. Well, come to find out he was only using and playing me. That's right, I got hustled. Hard. And I might have caught an STD from him too. I will find that out later. I hope I didnt but it's too late for wishing now. At least it's one that is easily gotten rid of. But still. He really played the romance card on me, and I totally believed it. There were so many red flags but I kept hoping that things were not really what I thought they were. I guess I should always trust me instincts. Always. Oh, well what's done is done. The problem, is that I really liked him. A lot. In the short time I have known him we clicked really well and things seemed like they were going so well. It hurts so much to realize that it was all a lie. I told him if he had just been honest with me, I would have been down with just having some fun, that he didnt have to do what he did...wait, was I really trying to rationalize a hustler? Lord, I am hopeless. Not stupid, I was just blind to it. Anyway, enough about him...at this point he is not worth typing about. I have learned my lesson the hardest way possible again.


On to other news: I hate this girl I work with. She's one of those "I'm pretty, help me, do everything for me" kind of girls. She gets away with so much, it's fucking unbelievable. It's really not fair to the rest of us who obey the rules and do what's expected of us, unlike her. She pushes the boundaries just to see how far she can ( or that's what I think anyway.) I fucking hate her. She has on shorts and flip-flops today in an office environment that's business casual. The rest of us have on slacks and shoes, while she gets to wear whatever she wants. It's not just that either...it's a whole lot more. More than I care to go into right now. I fucking hate her. My only solace is that people like her get what's coming to them eventually. I just hope I am around to see it when it happens. I fucking hate her.

That's it guys: from Hustlers getting over on me to a bitch at work getting away with murder...things are just fucking great for me right now.


I fucking hate her,
Juglover

Nothing Exciting lately...

I have been having a pretty quiet and boring life lately. Well, except for my weekly hook ups but you can only talk about those so much before people think you are a slut. :)

Things are going pretty good for me lately. Work, home, and everything else...no drama. I like this way though.

I am still waiting for a visit from Mackie, you remember it's his turn to come see me. I am hoping it will be in May sometime...before it gets too hot to do anything fun. Speaking of fun, I will be going to the lake this summer with my at-work boyfriend and his wife & kids. It should be fun. Yes, that's right, I resolved my little spat with the old at work bf. I couldnt help it...he isnt really that bad, just a typical man. The type that's not really that nice or fun to be around when busy or stressed out.


I wish I had something more exciting for you guys to read...maybe next week.

Much love,
JUSTIN

CATCHING UP...

A lot of things have happend lately...


My trip to Mackie's was good. Not great, but still good. No fighting, or drama at all. Our big night at the clubs in Little Rock were kind-of a bust. They were a little dead that night, and it was a Saturday too. Oh well, all in all the trip was a success. He will be coming to see me pretty soon. Let's hope that visit will be just as nice.

On to other news...
My at-work boyfriend, who I have let myself develope real feelings for, and I have been kinda fighting the last couple days. Let me tell you, it sucks. Big time. My feelings are so freakin hurt. The worst part is that he doesnt even seem to care. Or, maybe he is just another clueless, careless jerk like many other straight guys. He is not completely straight though. Two days ago he spoke very sharply to me and gave me a couple dirty looks. Then the next day the same thing happened again...a couple times that day. I know I am a very sensitive, emotional person but this really hurt. I have talked to his wife about it all and she says he is just that way...and I should make him pay. I have thought about and have decided that I will just avoid him. For good. No more at-work boyfriend anymore. I guess I will just have to get over him now. I am so frustrated that I have allowed myself to become to attached to a married man, whose wife I am friends with. What a fucking mess!!! I will figure it out and let everyone know how the situation plays out...


Much love to everyone except my former at-work boyfriend,

JUGLOVER

Trip was a success

My trip to Arkansas to see Mackie was good...not great but still good. No screaming and fighting or anything. We had a nice visit this time. There was some drama Friday night but it didnt involve the two of us. I even like his friends that I met on this trip.

Friday night we had a little get together at his house. It was a nice, fun time. Until his cousin Gary got really, really drunk and made some drama happen...more on that another time.

Sat during the day we shopped and hung out, nothing major. Then we went to the clubs Sat night. We had a nice time but it could have been a lot better. The Factory was slow and way too loud when we got there, we didnt stay very long. Backstreet was dead too. There was maybe 20 other people besides us there. So, we went over to Discovery...which had mostly straight people there. No kidding, I would say 90% of the people there were straight. Why do gay bars end up with so many straight people in them? It seems so weird to me...
After the clubs we met a couple of his friends at IHOP for food. Then on to bed...

I came home Sun afternoon, but not before stopping along the Ok and Ar border to buy some adult dvds :) I needed some new ones to add to my collection. :)

Like I said above, it was a good trip. He should be coming to see me sometime in the next four to five weeks...or at least he better. I am hoping we have just as nice of a visit when he comes here. We should have more fun here too...the gay bars here are not full of straight people and we should have no problem picking up some men in them either!

Until next time,
Justin

I am still alive

Hey guys!!

Sorry it has been so long...I know, I know I am a horrible blogger.

Huge News!! I am going out of town again. Now that I have received my tax refund, I am going to visit Mackie again...I hope this trip is better than the last one, when I had that bad-ass cold.

I will try to be more current with my posts from now on. I promise.

I will do a couple more posts this week and then a nice, big detailed one after I return from my big trip.

much love,
Justin

Ramblings

Ok, the last post was about my car in the shop. That was covered by the warranty. However, it messed up again the same day I got it back. Now, it's going back in. Still Fucking Sux!

Why are there people in the world who ignorantly float by life? While the rest of us have to pick up the slack? So much unfairness it makes me want to scream!!! I wont go into great detail about this but I will say what goes around comes around...

On to other news: Remember when the Eclipse got stolen? It was two months ago...Gayle is getting a check for a nice sized amount that she is using to get a Jeep Liberty. Sounds good, right? The only drawback is that's it's white. I simply do not like white cars, they're too plain for me. And hard to keep clean.

I really do not have much to say right now...kind-of boring life right now. I do not mind that though.

Oh, the Russian guy who I was corresponding with? I finally broke down and told him we should only be friends. How could he possibly expect to have a serious relationship via the internet? Without even being able to meet in person...that's just crazy. He did not take it well. At all. I feel badly about how it went down but wish him all the best.

That's it folks...I'm out.

Much love!

MORE CAR ISSUES

For the second time in the last couple months, I have to put my car in the shop. Fuckin' sux! I hate that I will have to be without it again. I almost wish I still had my Grand Am...at least it didnt need to go into the repair shop all the time. I am so over having this Saturn. I pretty much hate it now. It only "worked" for the first couple weeks I had it...since then it's been all downhill. The best part? Everything that has gone wrong with it has not been covered by the warranty...I have had to pay for it. It pissed me off bcs why have a warranty if it's good for nothing?

Ok, enough bitching but I had to get that out there. I traded in a not-so-reliable car for one that at this moment seems less reliable than the other one did.

JUGGY

Eh...

I am blah today. So tired and sick to my stomach too. Not really sure why but hope I feel better tomorrow.

I had a non-stop weekend this past weekend. Late night on Friday followed by a trip to Kansas on Sat for one of my nephew's b-day party. It was alright, there was so many freakin kids there. Kids that I dont know too. It was kinda freaky. The trip of course, took all damn day too. I hate having to go up there for something bcs even though it's only an hour and a half drive, it always turns into a day long affair. I had an alright time though.

Other than that, I didnt really do a whole lot, at all. I needed to get some shizz done but after being gone all freakin day long on Sat, Sun was a lazy day. I need at least one day out of the weekend for just lounging. For real, I need it. I just dont feel right if I dont get my one day of laying around watching tv, and being absolutely lazy. I dont shower or even change out of my pj's. I go to bed that night wearing the same thing I had on when I woke up that morning. No, it's not gross, it's not like I am dirty or anything. Just lazy, but we all deserve days like that occassionally.

So, there we go: my exciting weekend. Can you guys handle it? I dont know...so much excitement is not for the faint of heart :)


much love to all my peeps,
Justina

Things might be looking up

Work has been going ok, I need to make sure I am on my toes every moment of the day. I should anyway, but sometimes you have 20 things going at once, with four different sales reps, on a number of digital presses...you might forget one or two small details that could turn into a huge ordeal. I supose that's the case with a lot of jobs.

I am hoping to take a trip somewhere with my tax refund. Not sure where just yet...maybe Dallas. Somewhere close but still like a vacation. Of course, I will have Mackie go with me wherever I end up going. I would like to go back to OKC for the weekend but he just went last weekend without me so if I want him to go, I might have to choose another city. This plan is still in the beginning phase so who knows what could happen, I just need to get away and have some fun. I have my share of fun here but I really need to have some out-of-town fun. Mackie wants to go to the bathouse in Dallas on a Friday and then get a hotel room Sat morning, go out to the clubs that night, and then come home on Sun...which sounds pretty fun to me. Except when we do trips like that we only really see each other and spend time together is during the drive there and back home. That's ok, when the drives are five hours each way.

Ok guys, I need to get back to work now.

Everyone have a great weekend,
Juggy

MORE ISSUES & DRAMA TOO

It's official: I hate my job again. Circumstances have not been on my side, that's for sure.
I do not want to go into great detail here, some of you already know them anyway but I hope to be moving upward and onward soon...very soon.

Nothing else exciting has really happened to me lately. I did finish up my community service hours, which was kinda nice. No more of that hanging over my head.

My car has been acting crazy again which really has me worried. I am not really sure what to do about it. I am thinking the repair shop told the dealership what was really wrong with the car and the dealership told them to just do a quick fix that would last until the warranty runs out. It's too bad for them that it did not work bcs now I am going to take it back into the shop. I am thinking of offering the owner of the shop a little "incentive" if he will be on my side this time. I need the car fixed and fixed right. Completely fixed too...not just something that will hold up for a while.

That's about it for now...Oh, the Russian dude I have been exchanging emails with for the last couple months wrote that he loves me. He "said" it twice in the same email. So weird, bcs he hardly knows me. I will never type those words in an email to him so he might be in store for a little heartache. I feel a little bad but I have done nothing to lead him on this much. Being friendly to someone via emails is not romantic. His life is so different than mine, so he is prolly just clutching at straws. Poor guy, I might just end up being his pen pal forever bcs I feel like he has no one else. It's sad...

Gotta get Y'all.
Much love, Justin the juglover ( FYI: the jugs who were the inspiration behind this blog no longer reads it so I will prolly be changing the title soon.)

More back problems

Ok, so my back has never quit hurting but now it's back to the oh-my-god kinda pain. I hate it...
It is all I can think about. It makes everything almost impossible. Even simple everyday things like brushing my teeth takes a huge amount of effort. I am back to taking the hardcore pain pills that make me so deadheaded I can barely focus my eye sight. I just hope it eases up soon...


My newest niece is almost a year old! I cant believe it's been a whole year already. She is such a doll. Of course all the kids in my family are gorgeous...it's weird how they are all so good looking.

Here she is...I think she is going to be a redhead just like her uncle the juglover!

She looks completely different than she did when she was a newborn, almost like a different girl. That's her being held by my other niece, Missy Poo, otherwise known as Kiah. Oh, and that's my sister holding both of them, she's Kiah's mom. And Daniel's mom too.

Well, gotta go for now but stay tuned for updates on my back situation...we might need to join hands in prayer!

I HATE THIS OLD, DRIED UP, USED UP WHORE

This bitch has pushed me too far again. She and I have had a very rocky relationship since I started to work with her. She is pushy, rude, and must be dealt with accordingly. With hostility that is...Anyway, she is such a bitch that everyone except for one girl ( one has no other friends either ) hates her at the company I work for. She is a cunt, who gives the word cunt a bad name. I did have a great pic of her spliced with the world's ugliest dog but it would not post as both pics...only one or the other. Oh well, it does not in any way diminish my hatred for this evil, horrible woman. Ok, I have vented and feel much better now.

Thanks for "listening"

JH

The Kids

These are my sister's kids...I just adore both of them and cant imagine our lives without them.

Up first is Daniel, who is nine. Then there's Kiah, who we call Missy Poo, she's four.




Adorable, arent they? I love them so much I cant stand it. Daniel spent the night at my house last night...we had such a blast. He is such a smart and well spoken child. He is very brainy and I think he will be very successful in life. Missy Poo? Well, she's another story...she's very outspoken and athletic. I also think she will be successful but in an entirely different way. She's a riot with her crazy personality, there's no telling what she will say or do! I love every second I spend with both of these beautiful, brilliant kids. I only wish I had had a couple just like them...