I have no one to talk to about my problems. I would go crazy if I didnt have this page to pour my heart out to. It has been so helpful for me to log on and type away anytime something is bothering me...so much cheaper than therapy too.
I literally feel like I have no one to turn to when I need someone. Here's why...
Mom - is only available on occasion. Plus, she is very hard to talk to anyway. She used to be the type to go around telling everyone she knew everything she knew. I dont think she still does that, now there's just no room for me in her life. She always has something more important going on.
Sister - has a full plate. No room for me in her life either.
Grams - is too old to handle the stress from her own life much less listen to my problems.
M - is so far away and doesnt seem to ever understand anything. He either makes jokes or just wants me to run away somewhere with him each time I try to talk to him. Besides that, I have a hard time trusting him with important stuff. He likes to share too much information with other people ( like Mom used to. )
R - it's hard for me to talk to him. If it's about him, he takes whatever I say and takes it to the extreme. Like if I were to say, I dont feel like having sex, he takes that as I never want to have sex again. He either goes to one extreme or the other when I try to talk to him. Also, I am still really guarded with him. I have a hard time opening up until I really get to know someone. Besides that, he likes to bring things up later after they have been resolved. I cant risk telling him something only for it to be brought up and thrown in my face later.
There you have it...I have never felt so alone as I have in the last four or five months. I hate it.
Justin
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