so much to talk about!

Ok, here we go...

Yesterday morning when I woke up I could hardly move. My whole left side was hurting all thru my chest and down my left arm. Use of my left arm was limited and painful and my heart ached, it felt like someone was squeezing it. Five hrs in the emergency room told me that I have Pleurisy. It's a swelling and irritation in the lining of chest cavity and lungs. It's totally painful. I am feeling better today and do have meds to take so I will get better...just one of those weird medical deals and will pass soon.

My mom had to come pick me up and take me to the ER. She was pretty nice and considerate about the whole deal, once she got here. I dont think she realized how serious it was until she had to help me put on my socks and shoes.


R's nine year old son will be her tonight. And for the whole weekend. I have tried all week long to get R to talk to me about what we are going to tell the kid about me and all my things being here. R has resisted and put it off so we still have not reached a decision. It sucks for me bcs he will be here in a matter of hrs. Not only did we not decide what to tell him, I found out this morning that while he is here I have to sleep on the couch. The kid sleeps with R even though he has his own fully furnished room, with a bed and everything. Me, thinking I could just sleep in the kid's room, was quickly informed that the kid might freak out if I am sleeping in his room. So, not only have I been kicked out of my own bedroom...I have been kicked out of his too. I dont want to sound bitchy here but this shit sucks. I dont think it's fair to ask me to sleep on the couch, while and empty bed goes unused and the kid is asleep in my bed. If he can sleep in mine, I should be able to sleep in his. But then again, the kid thinks he is sleeping in his dad's bed...he doesnt know it's my bed too. I really dont want any of us to feel uncomfortable but sometime soon R is going to have to come clean with the kid about our relationship bcs I cant spend the rest of my life sleeping on the couch every other weekend. I feel almost like an inconvenience to R by being here. It's got to be tough for him; R wants me here, loves the time when his son is here, and wants us here at the same time but doesnt know how to go about it. Or rather explain to his nine year old that I am his boyfriend and we are living her together.
I really hate this situation. I feel so awkward and out of place...



Gotta go for now...I will post updates during the weekend as things play out.
Justin