???

Get ready for a rant y'all bcs here it comes...

My bf is the moodiest man I have ever met. I have known from the beginning but it seems like things are getting worse. I am kind-of wondering he is doing it to get a reaction from me. Prolly not, I know he has a lot going on right now but the bad/weary moods seem to come out of no where. Like today, after he got home we went for a bike ride and everything seemed ok. When we got back he was all moody. And sad. Usually I have no prob dealing with it but today it really seems to be getting to me. I just cant let his moods influence mine. One of us has to stay sane...why shouldnt it be me?

I just cant help but wonder why I always get a fixer upper boyfriends. Each time I meet someone they are in a low point in their lives. I hate it. Cant I just for once be with someone who is ok with himself and his life? I know, poor me, right? I have met someone and fallen in love and I am complaining. Whoa is me...

On to other topics. Talked to Mom today. She basically told me I would not be welcome at our family Thanksgiving this year. The same goes for Christmas. I guess after what I have done this year it is to be expected. It just really hurts. Badly. Worse than anything I have felt in a long time. I hate it more than anything. When making mistakes the last thing you think about is the residual effects it will have on your life for months to come. At least I didnt and now I am paying the price. Let me say once more "ouch."

Gotta jet, this post was meant to get some shit out of my system but instead it's making me depressed.

Much Luv ;)