I am hating life right now.
Things are not good between R and myself...big shock, right?
He is up to something and it's eating away at me bcs I dont know what it is. It's either drugs or he is cheating again. Or both. If he is doing drugs behind my back, then he is definitely cheating too.
I just wish he would come out and tell me what the hell is going on.
How does he possibly expect me to pick up the pieces and move on when there are more red flags and warning signs everyday?
He is either late coming home ( and doesnt call me but sends me text messages making me wonder where he is/why he couldnt call me ) or is up at very early or all night long too.
Like yesterday: when he came home from work he was very hyper, couldnt concentrate enough to form a sentence, was clenching his jaw, didnt eat dinner, and then was up most of the night too. Bottom line? He was high. Or at least it sure the hell seemed like it. If he is doing drugs, then he is def cheating while he is in town during the day. I think he got off work earlier than he said yesterday and was out getting high and then getting fucked by some stranger (again.)
Then today, he called and said he was on his way home and would be here in about 20 mins. Well, two hours later he sends a text saying he had to go back to work. Why would he wait so long to tell me? Why would he not call? Where the hell was he and what was he doing? It doesnt make sense...he is hiding something. I would over look most of these things but the being awake all night and saying all these weird things to me...almost the exact same things that he said after he cheated.
I hate that I am in this position, that I feel like I have to constantly be watching him. I wouldnt if he didnt give me a reason to...everyday.
Those two instances are only two of the many that have happened lately.
Maybe I am being too suspicious. Maybe things are exactly as he says they are. Or, maybe my gut feeling is right and he is making a fool out of me again.
Justin, single again.
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