Another day

It's Friday, which means I will be home alone all day, evening, and most of the night. R usually goes to his parents' house to pick up L on most Fridays. This one is his company Christmas party. I am not going, so I get to stay home alone. I didnt want to go and dont expect R to not go.
But still...I just hate it that I have to sit here alone on another Friday, the whole Friday. R says he wont be late, but the last party he went to he said he would be leaving by 7pm and it was more like 10pm, so I wont necessarily be waiting up.

Other than that, things are going alright between us. I keep dwelling on things he has said and done lately but am refusing to let them get to me. I know he is under a lot of stress and stuff at work so I am not trying to add to that. It would just be nice if I could get some attention from him besides him bitching about work, bitching about money, or crude sexual comments. I told him so over the phone today. I would like some "normal" conversation. I hated to bring it up, but enough is enough. I spend all day long alone so I need some human contact at night, that isnt all sexual.

Back to the money thing. It is a big issue between us. It's not an issue that is out loud though. He is always complaining about how broke he is but then always seems to have money anyway. I hate to think that him bitching about money is just so I wont ask him for any or anything. And I really think that is what the deal is...He thinks that by him saying he doesnt have any, then I wont ask for any/anything. The weird part is that I dont ask for him anything. In the three months we have been together he has bought me maybe three packs of cigarettes and just a few other little things...nothing major. Most everything I tell him is basic house stuff we would both use. Besides that, almost every time I do ask him for anything, he forgets. Which is really insulting. Five days ago, I asked him to bring home some Advil. I have a bad back ( for those who have been reading, you know it's really bad ) and was out of anything to take for it. So I asked R to bring something home. He didnt and I didnt bring it up bcs I was embarrassed for even asking, I definitely wasnt going to ask twice. So I called my Mom and asked her to get me some. So basically I have been suffering this week bcs my husband, who know I have a bad back forgot about me/didnt think about me one more time. I am telling you, everything else is a priority and I am just supposed to make due with what is left. I dont make an issue out of it though, bcs that's what a good "wife" does. I just hope things get better for us again soon.

In other news...my Mom is coming to visit tomorrow. She is bringing over the things I asked her to buy for me. You know, thing I would not ask R for...and some that I did and that wasnt important enough for him to remember. Anyway, this will be the first time they have seen each other since I told Mom that R cheated on me. It should be interesting. I dont really think she will bring it up or say anything to me, but R will be so uncomfortable wondering about it that it should be fun for me to watch. I know it's wrong of me to want to watch him squirm but he has put me thru yet another trying week...

Justin out