This week has been very rough....
My new job is horrible. I fucking hate it. It is not even close to anything I would like. I realize, that no one really likes their job but damn, this one is just plain awful. I wont go into details about it right now...just know how I feel about it. I hope that something else will come my way...but until then I can stick it out. I dont know how I can possibly look for a new job as I work Mon-Fri from
9am to 6pm. Oh well, at least it is a job that is not hard, is in an office environment, and is close to R's work so we can ride into town together. And, maybe it will get better...but I doubt it.
I have also been kinda sickly this week too. I have not felt well, had no energy, and have lost seven pounds without trying or altering my eating habits. I am going to the Dr in a couple weeks and will bring it up then...but maybe it will pass before my appt. I just feel kinda weird bcs I dont know what the hell could be wrong with me.
As for my relationship with R... it has been rocky this week too. We have both been stressed due to our jobs ( his is crazy stressful and I hate mine ) so I think that has a lot to do with it. We are broke right now too. We both get paid tomorrow so that should help a little. I hope things settle down between us. He told me earlier today that he hopes we can be happy and that he wants our relationship to be more stable. I am hoping for the same thing. I feel that he could be the one... ( my only reason for doubts are mostly my issues ) and the longer we are together the better chance my doubts will fade away. Our one year anniversary is coming up in a couple weeks, which makes this the longest relationship I have ever had. I am almost 32 and am totally ready to be settled down and hope that we can work thru anything that comes our way. Dont get me wrong, not all of our problems are his doing...I am just as much to blame.
Well guys, that's about it for now...wish me luck in the job situation. God know I need it.
Justin, hopeful.
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