Catching up

Things have been ok lately. R and I are getting along but not for very long...we fight every couple days or so every week. Nothing major ( yet ) but still enough to cause friction around here.

I am still unsure how to make things any better...unless I just give in every time...which is not going to happen. I can compromise but I am tired of having to coddle a 40 yr old...how can be very childish.

I am not unhappy but not exactly happy either. I guess it varies from day to day depending on what is happening around here. L being here is definitely becoming a challenge. I enjoy his visits here but it is getting harder to stand him when he starts acting obnoxious...which is a lot. R ignores it until it gets completely out of hand and by then there is no calming L down...and they usually end up getting into it but R always backs down in the end... I just wish L would realize how much his dad does for him and be a little nicer when he is here with us. I also wish he would realize how much his dad spends trying to make him happy and ensure he has a good time here.
Like I said...it can be very challenging. I will leave it at that...

I did buy me a new phone. With no help from anyone. I researched the model I wanted. Found the best deal locally and paid for it myself. I wish I would not have had to wait so long before getting it but I did the very best I could have under my current circumstances... Anyway, I got a new razor phone. It is the red one that I wanted too.

Lets all hope that things get better for me. I am talking about getting back on my feet for good. Finding a job that I can do and support myself with the money I make too. I need to get myself a car and get my act completely together. For good this time too...no more fucking around. I cant believe how much time I have wasted being satisfied letting R support me...it will change as soon as I can possibly make it happen. I still have my niece and nephew everyday...for four more weeks of summer and then I will be free to look for a job elsewhere...hope I can find one close to home so I dont have to rely on anyone to get back and forth to it...I dont want much, do I? Lol.


Well, I do feel better after typing out all my frustration...I suppose I should do it more often like I used to and maybe I would not be so bitchy all the time....

Justin, out