Oh Lord...life is complcated

Man, talk about overload for me lately.

First of all...I am now up to two deceased grandparents in the last two weeks...I was not close with the latest one ( great grandpa Heber ) but still.

Next we have the hives. I have been broke out in hives almost everyday for like three months now. I have taken the zyrtec like all the Dr's told me to. I am now taking a combo of zyrtec and benadryl just to keep them down. Each morning I hope they are not on my face ( like Thanksgiving ) or on my arms and noticeable at work. I go back to the derm next week and hopefully he can help me out. I just wish I could figure out what I am allergic to...I hope its not my dog.

Then theres my work. I am coming to dislike it. It has become a constant headache...covering shifts, waiting for people to come who come in late, and those not in uniform too. I have put my foot down and started passing out write ups but damn why does it have to come to this? I hate being the bad guy all the time...but then again, it is my job to enforce the rules. I do take my job seriously and realize this is just part of it.

Finally we have R. Things are pretty good with us right now. That's right, I am still with him. I may have jumped to conclusions with some of my accusations. I also wont be looking for trouble anymore either...what I dont know wont hurt me...I hope. I want to trust him but I just cant. I do love him and want a life with him but like everything else it is hard. Hopefully things will be alright with us and we will grow old together...

I am so out of sorts again lately. Not sure if its all the antihistamines I have been taking or everything weighing me down.

On a different note: I went to my real dad's for Thanksgiving. They noticed me so much no one mentioned the huge hive right by my left eye. I felt uncomfortable and we left before they even ate. We did have to get Luke anyway... My sister obviously hates me too. R thinks she is threatened by me...which is ridiculous! Although she has my dad all to herself all these years....so how knows. She is so cold to me and would not even look me in the eye. Oh well, not everyone is going to be a fan.

Justin, all broke out